Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Maverick Goose]

Mr Salmond...your slightly patronising tone when being interviewed yesterday grated somewhat.

You 'reassuringly' advised us on the telly that Scotland wouldn't seek to have customs posts at the border with England (I may be slightly paraphrasing, but this was the gist), so England shouldn't worry her pretty little head (I may be making the 'pretty little head' bit up, but again, this was the tone).

You're making one hell of a mighty assumption matey. Maybe England would like customs posts with Scotland...borders have two sides and Scotland may not get to choose... you assume too much...



(I know there's a Scottish independence thread on the dark side, but my life's too short to get involved in it...)

Maybe an 800 ft ice wall, though even that might not work...


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNCxxdcEK3w

 

[Katherine]

Apparently in some parts of the country people don't know what mardy means- I was told this by a teacher in the 1980's so it must be true

I grew up in Hampshire and I'd not heard of mardy before coming to Manchester. It's very descriptive.

 

[Haitch]

I grew up in Hampshire and I'd not heard of mardy before coming to Manchester. It's very descriptive.

Quite. Someone I knew from Quorn was really proud that only people in the East Midlands knew of the word mardy. And became really mardy when she found out about its wider circulation.

 

[Bimble]

Do you have to ride up the arse of every car on the road.Give us some space incase they slam on.I don't care if another car jumps in,that's their problem,not ours.

How do you know my brother-in-law? He drives exactly like that.

 

[srw]

Yes, I know you employ nobody else who knows what a paragraph is. Nobody else who can construct a professional sentence. Yes I know you know that normally I just get on with it. But you've had your last chance sunshine. I'm not employed as a copywriter - go and find someone else to tidy up because you couldn't be bothered to insist that the responsibility for this report rests where you and I both know it should.

I won't say that. Instead I'll just do the bloody thing. Suck it up, as I said to one of my team. Bang goes my next six weeks. And my feedback to that member of my team, who was supposed to have co-ordinated a good first draft by now, will be pointed. This is the second time inside a month I'll have rescued him from a crap report. I won't be there much longer, and his new boss won't have the same ability to write as me. (Might well have a few things they're better at, of course!)

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

So perfect a weekend and now it's gone to shoot. If I snore please make sure you wake me up. I'll go on the sofa.
I felt so fed up and ashamed of myself this morning. Now you've had an incident a work through being tired.
I do self hate very well.
I'm losing weight and doing throat exercises. Please don't punish me more.

 

[wheresthetorch]

So perfect a weekend and now it's gone to shoot. If I snore please make sure you wake me up. I'll go on the sofa.
I felt so fed up and ashamed of myself this morning. Now you've had an incident a work through being tired.
I do self hate very well.
I'm losing weight and doing throat exercises. Please don't punish me more.

I don't know you Nigel, but .

 

[Scoosh]

Hang in here, Nigel !

 

[Katherine]

So perfect a weekend and now it's gone to shoot. If I snore please make sure you wake me up. I'll go on the sofa.
I felt so fed up and ashamed of myself this morning. Now you've had an incident a work through being tired.
I do self hate very well.
I'm losing weight and doing throat exercises. Please don't punish me more.

 

[Speicher]

If your negligence and selfishness results in my being injured in any way, shape or form, please rest assured that your guts will be forming an integral part of my garters. Furthermore I will then sue the pants off you!

It is to be noted that setting aside the, admittedly complicated, Health and Safety Regulations, you have a "Duty of Care" to other people.

It is further to be noted that you are ignorant of that. However, ignorance is not a defence.

 

[ColinJ]

You told me what you know, so now I know what you know, and I clearly know what I know.

The person that you told me about phoned you and you told them that you had told me what you know, so now they know that I know what you know.

Now that you have phoned me back and told me that they know that I know what you know, I now know that they know that I know what you know.

I will be seeing them soon, and will confess that I know all that, which will mean that they will soon know that I know that they know, that I know that they know that I know what you know.

What I can say is that I was thinking of phoning you back after I have told them that, in which case ... THAT is something that I would like to say, but can't, because it is all getting way too complicated and I would be bound to get it wrong!

 

[ColinJ]

[QUOTE 4739441, member: 9609"]People who bang on and on and on about climate change, the enviroment and air pollution, then go on to tell you about there latest foreign holiday involving a flight or even worse a flight + cruise. Jeez WTF is wrong with these people.

If you fly you clearly don't give a toss about climate change or the enviroment, so STFU about it.[/QUOTE]
What if they have a huge garden and promise to plant lots of trees!

 

[classic33]

You told me what you know, so now I know what you know, and I clearly know what I know.

The person that you told me about phoned you and you told them that you had told me what you know, so now they know that I know what you know.

Now that you have phoned me back and told me that they know that I know what you know, I now know that they know that I know what you know.

I will be seeing them soon, and will confess that I know all that, which will mean that they will soon know that I know that they know, that I know that they know that I know what you know.

What I can say is that I was thinking of phoning you back after I have told them that, in which case ... THAT is something that I would like to say, but can't, because it is all getting way too complicated and I would be bound to get it wrong!

Getting the hang of these parts at last I see.

 

[ColinJ]

To the home owner:

You have 2 big jobs coming up ...

• Have an extension built on the back of your house
• Get the cavity walls of the house insulated

It seems to me that it would have made sense to get the insulation done while it was easy to get at the rear wall. After that, add the extension.

You had the extension done first ...

To the cavity wall insulators:

Yes, the home owner should have got you in before building that extension with the sloping slate roof, but ... he didn't. Ok, that makes access to the rear wall tricky. Never mind, you can use a cherry picker to get you way up there to drill the holes and pump the insulation in. No, not a ladder - a cherry picker. Ah, you don't have access to a cherry picker ...

So, Fred can use a ladder from the top of the sloping, wet, slate roof. Jim can stand on the sloping, wet, slate roof with one foot on the bottom of the ladder. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!!

 

[Lullabelle]

If you cannot differentiate between perfume and cologne...