Things you'd like to say, but can't

[AndyRM]

No, I do not want a blow-by-blow account of the Scotland - Japan match, thank you.

Neither do I - I'm taping it to watch at home and they've turned it on in the bloody office! My colleagues keep threatening to tell me the score. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

 

[fimm]

Neither do I - I'm taping it to watch at home and they've turned it on in the bloody office! My colleagues keep threatening to tell me the score. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

I'm just not interested... its bad enough with all the football chat round here...

 

[MossCommuter]

There are four farking doors on this train, only one of which is labelled for bicycles yet you choose to use that one and then you choose to stand in the small farking space reserved for those bicycles or in the vestibule of the door where those bicycles will need to be taken off the train. Even if you don't stand in the bicycle space you decide to exit the train by the bicycle door even though there are six cyclists queuing to get off. That door is the furthest from the farking station exit anyway.

Use another farking door.

 

[Tin Pot]

fark off with your 500 euros it's 900, no don't call me back if your manager can go to 800. In fact I'm never doing business with a company that thinks they can rip me off 45%, so never, repeat never, call me again.

 

[Lullabelle]

Yes you are right, you shouldn't tell your young daughter that if she doesn't behave then a policeman will take her away. If she is approached then she should be encouraged to report the person to an adult, neighbour, teacher, police officer. They are there to protect children, don't turn them into monsters.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

All we want is a bit of privacy, so what sort of coward comes out in the middle of the night to cut down a hedge that's 20 feet off their property, across a lane, growing up our fence?

 

[Moon bunny]

Fer feck's sake, TV licencing, that is the fifth letter you have sent saying a visit from the "enforcement officer" has been scheduled. Just send the goon round so that I can publicly humiliate him and we will be grand.

Yet another letter addressed to "The Legal Occupier".
Official warning: we have opened an investigation
Ooh scary!
Was it so very wrong of me to put it back in the envelope marked "not known at this address" and post it back to them?

 

[gbb]

"Someone's done the near impossible there mate and made that bike look really quite good'
Ive passed him a few times locally but always been in the car. A young fella is riding around on what looks like a silver MTB, chrome suspension forks, single speed or fixie and chunkydrop bars...I cant see any brake levers at all. Its super clean, very chunky but minimalist....and if I may say so, looks really quite good.
One day if I see him while I'm on foot or on my bike, I will try and have a chat with him.

 

[classic33]

Yet another letter addressed to "The Legal Occupier".
Official warning: we have opened an investigation
Ooh scary!
Was it so very wrong of me to put it back in the envelope marked "not known at this address" and post it back to them?

Yes

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

To the people who built a block of flats that has been there for years, meaning I have no idea who was responsible for it:

Now then, when you were building that block of flats, did it never occur to you or anyone else to put the balchony to the south??
I am no sun worshipper or anything, but surely a south facing balchony would have been much nicer than having it facing east? I mean, its not as if the morning is usually warm enough to make an east facing balchony really worthwhile, is it?

 

[Smurfy]

By the way is that a Golf TDi? - enjoy the emissions test on your next MOT!

Won't make any difference. Diesels have only ever been tested for smoke during the MOT test. Nitrogen dioxide doesn't come into it, except as a vehicle type approval test.

 

[Smurfy]

To the young lady who did a rush job on my hair "I only tipped you because I felt sorry for your low rate of pay".

 

[Smurfy]

Yet another letter addressed to "The Legal Occupier".
Official warning: we have opened an investigation
Ooh scary!
Was it so very wrong of me to put it back in the envelope marked "not known at this address" and post it back to them?

I don't even open those letters, I just put them in a slowly growing pile. If I ever move, they are all being sent back as a job lot.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Oops! Just checked with council. Our boundary is council maintained so they might be getting pissed off about you cutting down that hedge. Enjoy the letter

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Undskyld, Jeg taler ikke dansk*

I'd really like to say it, I have to say it several times a day, but dammit it just keeps coming out wrong. My accent is awful.

* pronounced "Unskul, Ya'ee tailor 'eek'eh dahnsk" and literally meaning "Sorry I speak not Danish."