Things you'd like to say, but can't

[andyfraser]

Or when female friends and colleagues talk about going for a facial*

*Not that I have the slightest inkling what other possible meaning that might have.

I've just remembered an old friend of mine when he found out she liked surfing. He was trying to impress her and said something like "So you're into surfing? Yeah, that's cool. I'm really into watersports." He couldn't work out why I was laughing so much for ages.

 

[Arjimlad]

I am not the about-to-become suicidal donkey you are looking for ......you can go about your business..

 

[Dave the Smeghead]

Or when female friends and colleagues talk about going for a facial*

*Not that I have the slightest inkling what other possible meaning that might have.

Oh no you didn't!

What does that mean anyway????

 

[AndyRM]

Oh no you didn't!

What does that mean anyway????

Builders' radios are involved somehow. All very complex.

 

[Arjimlad]

Yes, you missed a call which you asked me to make. I rang and you didn't answer but I left a long detailed voicemail with all of the information you asked for.

It would be more cost-effective for you if you could trouble to listen to it, before calling me back in future.

 

[bikingdad90]

When I tell you, it is how it is and there is nothing I can do to change it don't be obnoxious, accept it isn't what you want but that it is right so MTFU and learn to understand the method of working you signed off!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Having never been to the place, I know my view is somewhat handicapped, but, going on what I have heard and seen on the box, can I congratulate the good people of Lincoln and Lincolnshire in their most valiant attempts to uphold their home's title of 'Ar*ehole Of The Nation'!

People of Norfolk, stop sniggering, you are the 'Skidmark Of The Nation'!!

Oh and as for London.... I better stop before I get moderated again!!

 

[Slioch]

Having never been to the place, I know my view is somewhat handicapped, but, going on what I have heard and seen on the box, can I congratulate the good people of Lincoln and Lincolnshire in their most valiant attempts to uphold their home's title of 'Ar*ehole Of The Nation'!

People of Norfolk, stop sniggering, you are the 'Skidmark Of The Nation'!!

Oh and as for London.... I better stop before I get moderated again!!

Reminds me of that age old geography school-lesson conundrum. "If you were to give Scotland an enema, where would you insert the tube?"

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Reminds me of that age old geography school-lesson conundrum. "If you were to give Scotland an enema, where would you insert the tube?"

Ardrossan of course - There is a reason it is called 'Ar*erotten

 

[TVC]

Having never been to the place, I know my view is somewhat handicapped, but, going on what I have heard and seen on the box, can I congratulate the good people of Lincoln and Lincolnshire in their most valiant attempts to uphold their home's title of 'Ar*ehole Of The Nation'!

People of Norfolk, stop sniggering, you are the 'Skidmark Of The Nation'!!

Oh and as for London.... I better stop before I get moderated again!!

You should try visiting the flatter parts of Lincolnshire, it is banjo country.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

You should try visiting the flatter parts of Lincolnshire, it is banjo country.

'This message was brought to you by The Lincolnshire Tourist Board'.

 

[Slioch]

Ardrossan of course - There is a reason it is called 'Ar*erotten

How about Auchtermuchty?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

How about Auchtermuchty?

That sounds painful, you have my commiserations, GWS!!

 

[Slioch]

And Ecclefechan to you too

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

And Ecclefechan to you too

And Unst right back at you!