Things you'd like to say, but can't

[EltonFrog]

No, seriously, what have I said??

Are you paranoid or what?

 

[coffeejo]

At the fat women who only ever eat salads in the works canteen:

You're really not fooling anyone. You must be going home and gorging on chocolate and crisps or you'd be half the size you are.

Or possibly has a medical condition, like a very large and very lovely friend of mine.

 

[Lullabelle]

Or possibly has a medical condition, like a very large and very lovely friend of mine.

Certain drugs can have the side effect of weight gain.

 

[EltonFrog]

There is no doubt in my mind that you are a homunculus, rancorous substitute for a human being.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Are you paranoid or what?

Yeah!!

There is no doubt in my mind that you are a homunculus, rancorous substitute for a human being.

What have I.... Oh, right!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

.....but take comfort, Doug, you are normal for Glasgow.

That's what worries me!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

@CarlP, it is just a joke.

Oh, no, wait, I just said that.

 

[Fnaar]

Thank you for what you've done... but you are a raving alcoholic, I can no longer help you... I am leaving you behind

 

[bikingdad90]

Dear 10 Ebayer's who are watching my bike, please don't watch it buy the dam thing! It is a bargain and I really want to buy my new bike!

 

[marknotgeorge]

How can you be adamant you've got your VAT right when you haven't submitted the returns for the last two quarters?

 

[Moon bunny]

I am bored of the twins now. Can we swop swap exchange them for a puppy?

 

[Puddles]

Are you female? No? Then shut up this will never be your concern.

 

[Lullabelle]

I am only too happy to support breast cancer charities however I fail to see how posting a few words on facebook will have any effect on fighting the disease, money for research yes, but a facebook post

 

[Puddles]

#byefelicia

 

[GrumpyGregry]

You want me to cancel my holiday, that starts on Sunday? That I told you about three months ago. And you can't promise me any more work after end of this month if I don't cancel it? This ain't the only gig in town bucko so go **** yourself.

(I kept it professional and politely declined the suggestion that the hols get binned at two days notice for no good reason other than the client is playing willy-waving power games. We shall see what happens....)