Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Lullabelle]

Shut the f**k up, nobody cares about the football. You are so into yourself that you have failed to notice the lack of interest from everyone else, repeating yourself doesn't make it any more interesting. You are the biggest most boring person I have ever met in my life.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

UNIQUE DOES NOT MEAN THAT SOMETHING IS MERELY UNUSUAL YOU UTTER, UTTER, F********!!


I mean, buy a dictionary, FFS!

 

[Maverick Goose]

You tell 'em MDB!

 

[Speicher]

So .... three solicitors, one for each party have taken a very close look at the contract, and three other people who have integrity, honesty and experience of contracts by the bucketload. Then three more people have thoroughly read it, and agree it is suitable. But you still want to go nit-picking the contract.

Please show me your certificate in commercial property law.

 

[EltonFrog]

You're fat, so is the woman you are with, and if that's not enough you have to hold your shopping trolley across the aisle so no can get past the pair of you.

You feckin' inconsiderate lardass pair of twunts.

 

[rdfcyclist]

Dear colleagues

99% of the time I'm a cheery, happy-go-lucky chap who doesn't let anyone get in the way. Congratulations then on being the reason for the 1% of my time when I want to damage something in some way. I don't want to work Saturday night but it appears that I am the business's only choice. Please understand that this is why I am going to ask for double time due to unsociable hours and be quietly angry at you until you all return from Spain.

Yours sincerely,

The F**ked off Apprentice

 

[rvw]

No, despite the fact that your buyers' solicitors are being a pain, it really is too late to pull out. You have already completed on the purchase of the new place, all the kitchen appliances have been collected by the council, a load of furniture has already gone to charity and the removers arrive in 90 minutes.

I know it is a wrench, and you've lived here for 42 years and love it. But we are beyond the point of no return.

 

[ScotiaLass]

I know what you are trying to do.
I am rising above your childish behaviour and ignoring you. One day soon you'll trip yourself up.

 

[coffeejo]

Oh just bleep off you bleeping bunch of useless bleepers.

 

[Mandragora]

'Phwoar... you're a lot fitter than me, love' isn't so much a compliment as a simple, observable truth when you are an 18-stone tub of lard driving slowly by in your wrecked old Audi. Love.

Your poor old car struggled to get up that hill nearly as much as I did.

 

[simon the viking]

To a lot of my customers......

I've been in automotive parts supply for twenty years..... So when I tell you something about a part for your car, it's usually correct..... now tell me, can I as a random stranger walk in off the street into your place of work and tell you that you can't do your job? No didn't think so.......

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I do not have any real heroes, I never have - You make of life what you put in, so it is pointless to me idolising someone else.

So..... Much as I am happy for him (this is a mere social formality, in reality, I don't care) I just do not feel anything for Froome or any of the others really. I might have favourite teams, yes, but the actual riders?? I don't know them and I will probably never meet them, so, why bother??

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

So, even though I was wanting Quintana to take a bite out of Froome's lead, even beating him, and I wanted Bardet to keep the KOM, I just don't feel anything for them, they will be back next year along with other new riders, and the year after that and so on, so I guess I like the teams more than the actual people.

 

[TVC]

So, even though I was wanting Quintana to take a bite out of Froome's lead, even beating him, and I wanted Bardet to keep the KOM, I just don't feel anything for them, there will more riders along next year, and the year after that and so on, so I guess I like the teams more than the actual people.

It could be worse, you could like football with all the pointless tribalism and hero worship that goes with it.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

You told me I was your hero

We'll always have Bognor though