- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Amazing to think that a lumbering old oaf like rich could produce such an astute offspring
I don't think he is old.
Things you'd like to say, but can't
- Thread starter Stig-OT-Dump
- Start date
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I don't think he is old.
Lisa21
Mooching.............
- Location
- North Wales
ComedyPilot
Secret Lemonade Drinker
- Location
- The Kingdom of Yorkshire
"Can I have my bidon back?"
[to the driver of the silver Volvo who tried their hardest to run me down earlier]
[to the driver of the silver Volvo who tried their hardest to run me down earlier]
Yellow Fang
Legendary Member
- Location
- Reading
To some of the middle aged ladies who come to circuits:
Do the b****** exercises on the cards. It's a circuits class, not a glorified aerobics or pilates class. Don't wander willy-nilly to whichever station you can face doing next. There's only so many places at each station anyway. Don't change the exercise on the card for some girly aerobics substitute. Don't indulge in face-saving, shirking activities, such as splits in the 2 minute recovery period when you haven't been putting any effort in the preceding circuit; or wasting 30 seconds looking for lighter weights, or explaining to someone else how to do a particular exercise. I know you're middle-aged, so am I, so are they. I know you are female, so are all of them <pointing over there>. I know you're overweight, so are they <pointing at some other group of people>. They're all trying; you're just getting in the way or shirking. If you can't hack it, most the other group training sessions consist of gentle girly-oriented exercise, so do them. If you want to do your own thing, do it in the gym.
Do the b****** exercises on the cards. It's a circuits class, not a glorified aerobics or pilates class. Don't wander willy-nilly to whichever station you can face doing next. There's only so many places at each station anyway. Don't change the exercise on the card for some girly aerobics substitute. Don't indulge in face-saving, shirking activities, such as splits in the 2 minute recovery period when you haven't been putting any effort in the preceding circuit; or wasting 30 seconds looking for lighter weights, or explaining to someone else how to do a particular exercise. I know you're middle-aged, so am I, so are they. I know you are female, so are all of them <pointing over there>. I know you're overweight, so are they <pointing at some other group of people>. They're all trying; you're just getting in the way or shirking. If you can't hack it, most the other group training sessions consist of gentle girly-oriented exercise, so do them. If you want to do your own thing, do it in the gym.
Mad Doug Biker
Just a damaged guy.
- Location
- Craggy Island
You are fat, lazy, have a carbon footprint the size of Wales, and you have a voice like a fart. 'Nuff said.
- Location
- The TerrorVortex
To the smoker in the Vauxhall Corsa I was stuck behind today :-
It's a 60 mph limit road. If you can't drive along it at more than 35 mph, then stay at home. And don't flick a fag end out of the window.
And to the bloke driving the twattish 4WD pickup :-
If you see me driving along, don't wait till I'm 20 yards away then pull out of a side road. I did an emergency stop to avoid hitting you. You then accelerated up to 40 mph over the course of a couple of minutes, then stuck to 40 mph. Again, this was on a 60 mph road.
You are both fecking feck-witted feck-headed feckers!!! Now feck off!!!
Thank you.
It's a 60 mph limit road. If you can't drive along it at more than 35 mph, then stay at home. And don't flick a fag end out of the window.
And to the bloke driving the twattish 4WD pickup :-
If you see me driving along, don't wait till I'm 20 yards away then pull out of a side road. I did an emergency stop to avoid hitting you. You then accelerated up to 40 mph over the course of a couple of minutes, then stuck to 40 mph. Again, this was on a 60 mph road.
You are both fecking feck-witted feck-headed feckers!!! Now feck off!!!
Thank you.
krushavik
New Member
- Location
- Warrington Cheshire.
Tell the next door nieghbours -daughters - boyfriend to piss off with his throtty exhaust. Disturbing my beauty sleep when he drops her off.
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
Why don't you p1ss off out of here you mardy cow 
? And the rest of the management can go with you as well, and your even mardier BF? JUST FCUK OFF NOW!
? And the rest of the management can go with you as well, and your even mardier BF? JUST FCUK OFF NOW!Dear FatherDaisy I am trying to watch Larkrise to Candleford, would you please stop snoring and go away!!! Why are you tired anyway you have done P1ssall today whilst MotherDaisy and i have planted 300 sweatpea seeds ( boring), rebuilt the stone wall that you have been promising to do since last june and cleared out the guttering. I am all for women doing their bit but i am fed up with you being so bloomin pathetic!! oh and whilst you are here i don't give a flying pig if you have lost Gold status with Virgin, poor you, you may have to forgo preflight massages and haircuts in the virgin lounge and hangout with the great unwashed. Talking about your work is boring everyone within a fifty mile radius, how about you ask us how our day has been instead of hinting as to weather the kettle is warm!!!
BTW MotherDaisy has been made redundant that is the reason she is at home all the time and not so she can iron your Bloomin shirts for your meeting in New York.
The only thing that is good about you having absolutely no interest in us is that we secretly know that the new handbags we bought last week are not in fact from New Look but rather from Mulberry that will teach you to get me to drive ten miles away to get the cheap fuel for your chelsea tractor, YOU FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR CARD BACK!!!!!!!!!
BTW MotherDaisy has been made redundant that is the reason she is at home all the time and not so she can iron your Bloomin shirts for your meeting in New York.
The only thing that is good about you having absolutely no interest in us is that we secretly know that the new handbags we bought last week are not in fact from New Look but rather from Mulberry that will teach you to get me to drive ten miles away to get the cheap fuel for your chelsea tractor, YOU FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR CARD BACK!!!!!!!!!
scots_lass
Senior Member
- Location
- Small village in Fife
Way to go Daisy!
red_tom
New Member
- Location
- East London
I really don't care what you do on your own time but when you try to use your ridiculous fairy stories to justify hurting, scaring and upsetting other people then you really are overstepping the line. Hey, try opening up your slammed shut brain and reading a book now and again. A proper one though; not one made up by a bunch of clueless fantasists eons ago. Who knows, you might actually stop wasting our time with your feigned compassion and ridiculous offense at perceived sleights against your imaginary friend and do something constructive and truly caring with your life you bitter little waste of carbon.
Kirstie
Über Member
Ooof! Get in!
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
That's not the sort of calculation people generally make when going out for cheap fuel and in his defence, FatherDaisy does seem to be a bit thick.
Bit unfair picking him up on the stone wall rebuilding though, putting a job off since last June is nothing.
