The Limerick Thread

[Ming the Merciless]

There once was a unicyclist so odd
He could ride on the water like a god.
He balanced himself with grace
And mastered his one-wheeled space,
To the amazement of everyone watching from afar!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I now remember this one having found it elsewhere

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There once was a duck who enjoyed biking
Riding 'round town was what he was liking
He'd zoom down the street
With his wings at full speed
And the other ducks quacked in awe of his biking.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

When asked why he wasn’t a duck
The Coot replied “just my good luck”
Ducks are fat loud and arrogant,
Tho’ they taste good with Tarragon(t)
And for their demise I give not a f**k

 

[Ming the Merciless]

When asked why he wasn’t a duck
The Coot replied “just my good luck”
Ducks are fat loud and arrogant,
Tho’ they taste good with Tarragon(t)
And for their demise I give not a f**k

There once was a duck, so full of hate
For the pesky Coots, who left none too late
It sang and squawked, until none remained
And the duck swam off, feeling quite unchained.

 

[Threevok]

There was a young duck called Will
who swallowed an enlargement pill.
But thanks to the vet,
there was no ill-effect
except for the size of his bill.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

There was a young lady from Thrace,
Whose corsets would no longer lace.
Her mother said “Nelly
There’s more in your belly
Than ever went in through your face.”

(Stolen from my productive pal)

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Florence is awash with great art;
One doesn’t quite know where to start.
But I’ll vomit up later,
If I see another pieta
Or a saint with a dart through his heart.

(another one stolen)

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A shy feline, who simply despised suds,
Would curl up in a ball when asked for a scrub;
Her fur was all matted and her eyes filled with dread,
When the bathtub was filled she would quickly have fled!

 

[Seevio]

There was a young lady from Twickenham
Whose shoes were too tight to move quick in 'em
She returned from a walk
Looking whiter than chalk
Then took them both off and was sick in' em.

 

[Gwylan]

Florence is awash with great art;
One doesn’t quite know where to start.
But I’ll vomit up later,
If I see another pieta
Or a saint with a dart through his heart.

(another one stolen)

Oh, I have to nick that. But I dare not possibly tell you why.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

William Tell was a marksman so keen,
His skills while on a bike were seen.
Ringing a bell with an arrow he shot,
An apple from the head of a tot.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Another stolen one:-

There was a young woman from Spain
Who kept sinning again and again.
When the priest said, “Desist!”
She said, “I try to resist,
But somehow it’s always in vain.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Not Mine

A bottle of perfume that Willy sent
Was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold,
That they quarrelled I’m told,
Thanks to that silly scent Willy sent Millicent.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a woman with a glowing pride,
Who lovingly tended her garden outside.
For every stem she grew,
The blooms shone so true,
It's a sight that could not be denied.