The Limerick Thread

[Ming the Merciless]

There once was a fish named Kyle
Whose fins could never quite smile
His friends thought it strange
But he said he'd arrange
To keep them all laughing awhile.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A cyclist from close by the hills
Decided to replace her own bottom bracket thrills
She popped off the part
With an expertly-timed start
And rode on with no more frills.

 

[Reynard]

There was once a cyclist called Paul
Whose bib shorts were somewhat too small
He rode through some guano
And remarked in soprano
That it would not be a good thing to fall.

 

[Gwylan]

A graceful young pedlar from Ghent
Remarked that his crank was bent
The man in the shop just sniggered
As he said it's quite jiggered
Whilst touching the crank from Ghent

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A cyclist in Lycra of course
Had a saddle that rode like a horse
It carried them so high
In the sky they could fly
On a bike they called their trusty steed, of course!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A couple in love so indiscreet
Decided to have sex in the street
But a cop stopped them mid-thrust
And chastised them with a gust
For showing off their naughty feat.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A young lad who had a large bum,
Was quite proud of it, and would brag some.
He'd shake it at passerby's,
And cause them to wonder why,
But his bottom brought him plenty of fun!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a man who had a big nose,
That he would frequently expose.
He'd rub and tap it with glee,
And use it to see the sea,
A marvel all noses oppose!

 

[Fnaar]

There was a young poet named Dan
Whose poetry just didn't scan.
When asked why 'twas so,
He said "I don't know..."
But perhaps it's because I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can".

 

[Fnaar]

The was a young man from Dundee
Who got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked if it hurt
He said "No, not much...
It can do it again if it likes".

 

[Domus]

There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two

 

[Moon bunny]

There was a young woman from Barrow,
Said my mind is exceedingly narrow,
Your lim’ricks are rude,
disgusting and crude,
but mine are on cats, trees, and a cow.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a young man from Chile
Whose limericks were as long as his willy

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There once was a young woman from France
Who was known for her elegance and stance.
She had looks that could kill
But she was still quite still
And loved to go out and dance!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Once in the dome of St Paul's
I heard the sound that appals
It was the tinny tone
Of a mobile phone
Echoing round the walls.

(stolen from a pal)