The Limerick Thread

[Gwylan]

There was a young lady from Hitchen


Complete at your leisure and within the bounds of decency.

 

[Regular.Cyclist]

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was a young cyclist named Rex
Who really was quite a perplex
He always got lost
No matter how often he cycled
Cause he never knew which way was the next

 

[Deleted member 1258]

there once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A cyclist out in the sun
Rode past, having lots of fun
He whizzed down a hill
As his tires filled with thrill
His journey had only just begun.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

There was a young girl of Cape Cod
Who thought babies were fashioned by God
, But ’twas not the Almighty Who hiked up her nightie –
‘Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!

 

[glasgowcyclist]

There once was a chap from Khartoum,
who took a young man to his room.
They argued all night,
about who had the right,
to do what, and with which, and to whom.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A whale named Drew needed a break,
So he swam off to a distant lake.
But when he arrived there,
He realized with despair
That it was, alas, an inland fake!

 

[wheresthetorch]

There once was a man from Bombay
Who went to China one day
He ended up on a tiller
With a sex-starved Gorilla
And China's a bloody long way!

(Paul Merton)

 

[Dave 123]

A strange sort by the name Mervin
lived in the Cheshire village of Wervin
but nobody cares
cos he’s doing 8 years
on account of his ceaseless pervin’

 

[PeteXXX]

There once was a CC'er from York
Who always ate venison or pork
A vegan he met with by chance
Told him with that diet you'll never advance
"so you need to start eating some weeds you dork"

 

[Regular.Cyclist]

There was a young man who loved kilts
He walked around atop stilts
But a gust of chilled air
Made it to cold to bear
So he changed his garb for some quilts.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

A standup comedian called Hugh
Did a gig on the isle of Corfu
The audience of Nuns
Quite liked his puns
But preferred his jokes which were blue

(stolen from a pal)

 

[Reynard]

Reynard's a Cambridgeshire lass,
When cycling she gives it some gas
Her bright red machines
Are all powered by beans
With a soundtrack that's purely first class

 

[Legs]

A young lady from Wicken Bonhunt
Planted cannabis seeds in her <you know perfectly well>
"My Lord!" said her gynae,
"This place is so tiny
There's scarcely enough for one blunt!"