The horror of office speak

[stargazer]

"what can we do to make this green? I need you to make this green for me"


But seriously, what is that all about????????

He's talking about a risk or issue on his RAG list (Red, Amber, Green - criticality list). Red = Serious, possible show-stopper; Amber = Needs to be resolved but not critical; Green = OK. He needs someone to resolve a problem with a red or amber staus, i.e. make it green.

"I need you to make this green for me" though. What a twit.

I wonder how the RLJ's would deal with a RAG list?

Oh, look. That problem / issue is red. Hey ho. And on we go regardless ...​

Danny

 

[Gerry Attrick]

I think we all need to board the same bus guys, ring fence the scenario and go with it. Leave the head shakers aside and accelerate those on message.

Geddit?

 

[yenrod]

Was out at a meeting earlier and was sitting in reception waiting for my guy. (was nice and early) anyway behind the reception it was all open plan and I could see and hear some guy on the phone.


"what can we do to make this green? I need you to make this green for me"

Eco warrior?

No. The daft twat was meaning "Going to fix it?"

Mentioned this to the guy I was meeting who I get on very well with and can't possibly write what his response was or his opinion on the guy before the watershed

But seriously, what is that all about????????

I was in an office once and overhead a woman say to a colleague; 'im just going to see x to raise an invoice'.



S'pose it could be taken in the proper manner but it was said with such regality that i said in my mind - you mean a 'bill' luv!

Offices are soo snooty sometimes people just act up in them !

 

[Rhythm Thief]

To be fair, Yenners, "invoice" is a pretty normal word in that context.

 

[rikki]

At a recent meeting regarding a dispute between two groups of lawyers, one of the lawyers wanted to "hot-tub the legal issues"

The slightest thought of the lawyers and their lawyers with the other lawyers and their lawyers in a hot tub is sickening to say the least

 

[Maizie]

I was on a training course and I got a free pen (woohoo!!) which had written on it "Putting the ink in think"...which when my husband saw it, he said it was more like "Putting the ocks in...[I can't remember ]"

 

[wafflycat]

One must never forget who are the stakeholders in all this

 

[abchandler]

I was on a training course and I got a free pen (woohoo!!) which had written on it "Putting the ink in think"...which when my husband saw it, he said it was more like "Putting the ocks in...[I can't remember ]"

Socks, surely

 

[lycradodger]

If you lot stopped operating in silos and lived the values instead by leveraging off each other then just think how much you could impact the business by close of play.

(That is disturbingly close to being a standard sentence where I work.)

 

[alecstilleyedye]

at least i was "on the digital bus" when redundancies were mentioned…

 

[ChrisKH]

Soory yenners, but invoice is the correct word for it. A bill rather suggests you were born in the 50's and worked on the docks (as in bill of lading). There's also fee note and bill of costs. They're all valid. Bill as well, of course. But invoice is the correct terminology.

We often get smaller conference rooms referred to as 'break-out' meeting rooms (as part of a larger meeting) when a deal is being thashed out. It always makes me think that some of the participants go in there and start tunneling.

 

[User482]

I once said "let's have a scuba in my think tank". They actually thought I was serious until I started laughing at them.

(It's a quote from Gus in "Drop the Dead Donkey").

 

[jay clock]

I have a colleague who, when asked how a particular piece of work is going, always seems to answer with "that's very much work in progress". That means "I haven't started yet".

Sadly, whatever he says annoys me....

 

[Paulus]

When working on a plan for some modifications to one of our Loco cabs, one of our managers kept on about how to "progress" the situation. The situation was where a switch was going to be situated.

 

[yenrod]

To be fair, Yenners, "invoice" is a pretty normal word in that context.

Yes, but RAISE ??? - yes love - i can raise my bloody hand !

Maybe she was bored at the time.