Pretentious nobbery

[I like Skol]

I may have something, not sure it counts? Difficult to find anything in the Skol household as discreet and low-key are the abiding principles here....

 

[MichaelW2]

My wife makes me get clothes that are not from Go Outdoors.

 

[FrankCrank]

Got one of these to oil my nipples when wheel building

 

[raleighnut]

Do Burgundy Leather Converse count,

 

[Cycleops]

Do Burgundy Leather Converse count,

View attachment 506164

Only if you are middle aged or older .

 

[I like Skol]

Ok, here it is (shown next to a bottle of wine for scale).

This is actually a recent identical replacement after the original was stolen out of my car last year.
A 6 x D cell Maglite in fetching red. Bought on a whim in my early-mid 20s mainly because I loved the colour.
Has been many places with me over the years (but not cycling trips obviously) and with an LED upgrade is as impressively bright as its size suggests. Serves many purposes, including but not restricted to;

• Peace keeper!
• Fire poker for the campfire
• Landrover brake light tester (just the right length for jamming between driver's seat and brake pedal while I go to check the lights)
• Torch

Talking of peacekeeping duties, a couple of years ago we heard intruders trying to force the back door of a neighbour's house. I told Mrs Skol to ring the plod while I went to investigate.
The boys in blue arrived surprisingly quickly and found me wandering around the darkened paths behind our homes wearing my pyjamas and with the large red implement in my hand!!!
The officers first comment was "That looks like a useful torch" nod, nod, wink, wink
He clearly understood what a versatile, multipurpose instrument it could be....

 

[raleighnut]

Only if you are middle aged or older .

Age is only a number, I still get Pimply Policemen calling me "son" or "sonny".

 

[Smudge]

I like mechanical automatic watches, i prefer them to quartz.
I was explaining this to a bloke in a pub that was sitting next to me at the bar. I explained to him how these watches have 'soul'. They have a heart of a mainspring and the rotor and cogs all work in perfect harmony. Its miniature precision engineering in its purest form. I then went on to the materials used and the quality of workmanship.
Unfortunately he obviously had other issues in his life, as he looked like he was losing the will to live.

 

[welsh dragon]

Mr WD owns a very respectable ensemble consisting of a Rab C Nesbit looky likey string vest and Y fronts that he purchased in the Army and Navy store in Birmingham about 30 years ago. He wears the Y fronts pulled up to his chest of course. It's the only way to wear them.

 

[mudsticks]

Do you own an item that is a blatant piece of pretentious nobbery?

A coffee machine modelled on the Sizewell B reactor?

A turntable manufactured by NASA for missions to pluto, with a stylus made from a virgins fingernail?

An Apple XXXVIX mobile phone in a custom case, plated with gold from Steve Jobs teeth?

Then this is the thread to tell us all about it.

Being such a down to earth ruffty tuffty sort there's not much jn the Drago household that fits the bill, but I did find one item. Being the Desperate Dan lookalike that I am I can't just have a Thermos or a cheap flask from Poundland. No, a stainless steel behemoth, made in America by rough men with names like Lance and Brad, from a design that has remained more or less unchanged in 107 years, with a lifetime guarantee, a design so long lived that pre war examples are still in daily use 4 generations on from their original owner. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the Stanley vacuum flask:

View attachment 506144

Yup, got one of them, drinking from it right now.

It's considerably muckier than that one though.

Is it pretentious to have something durable and well designed that does the job well ??

In which case, most of my farm kit will mark me out as a pretentious nobber too

 

[Drago]

Oh yes, if it's not disposable modern consumer tat, but is instead an item of needlessly superior expense and quality, then it is indeed pretentious.

 

[Paulus]

Does this count?
A Condor cycles storage bottle for tools, food etc.

 

[Chris S]

I've got a lava lamp. It's absolutely useless as a lamp so it must be pretentious.

 

[derrick]

https://www.wiggle.co.uk/selle-italia-novus-boost-kit-carbonio-superflow-saddle/
Does this count.👍

 

[cookiemonster]

Nope. My Apartment is a Pretentious Nobbery free zone