Ping: fellow depressives

[longers]

But when your cry's for help go unnoticed, what do you do.

If your post is one, then I hope you get some good advice from the wise and knowledgeable people on here. I can only send best wishes for what that's worth. Hopefully the break to do the ride will do you good and you'll be able to rebuild the bonds with your family even stronger.

Are you doing it solo or with friends?

 

[ACS]

Having been on citalopram for as long as I can remenber (10 years +) I have decided to come off the medication to see if I can manage. I realised that the side effects where leaving me feeling empty inside, tiredness, no concentration, forgetfull to name but a few. I recently had 2 weeks off the medication when I forgot my take them me. When I started them again I suddenly realised that perhaps I could manage.

One week off and for the first time in eons I am beginning to feel alive again. I commute 2x10 miles each day so I am hoping that the additional serotonin may offset the the loss of the medication. If the experiment does not work than I am going to try St Johns wart and if that does not work I will know that a trip to the doctor will be necessary.

 

[Speicher]

In my experience, close family members are not necessarily the right people to ask for help from. They have a "vested" interest in you feeling better, without them having to discuss what the real problems are.

So, for instance, they might suggest, demand even, that you attend someone's birthday party, go out for a meal, take a long walk with them. This might not be what YOU want to do, because you are too tired/do not want to be in a noisy environment/just want to relax in peace and quiet/would prefer to be on your own out on your bicycle.

My family so much wanted to be able to "solve" my problems, that they could not understand why it was so difficult to follow their advice.

Also in my experience, it is not just one problem that has made you feel depressed. If there are lots of problems, when you concentrate on solving one, another one gets worse, or something else happens.

I was offered six weeks counselling with the NHS. This was nowhere near long enough. Fortunately I was able to carry on receiving counselling from the same person on a Private basis. I would say that counselling was, and still is, very helpful.

You might be surprised how many people on here have or have had depression.

 

[longers]

You might be surprised how many people on here have or have had depression.

I've often wondered about that as there's been some very good advice and discussions about it on here and wondered if it were down to people with depression being drawn to cycling, forums or none of the above.

 

[AlanW]

If your post is one, then I hope you get some good advice from the wise and knowledgeable people on here. I can only send best wishes for what that's worth. Hopefully the break to do the ride will do you good and you'll be able to rebuild the bonds with your family even stronger.

Are you doing it solo or with friends?

Is this a cry for help, not sure, but I dont think so? But it did help putting finger to key board if I am honest.

There are 14 of us doing LeJOG, so I'm hoping that it will be the token required to get me back on track again, we will have to wait and see?

 

[AlanW]

In my experience, close family members are not necessarily the right people to ask for help from. They have a "vested" interest in you feeling better, without them having to discuss what the real problems are.

So, for instance, they might suggest, demand even, that you attend someone's birthday party, go out for a meal, take a long walk with them. This might not be what YOU want to do, because you are too tired/do not want to be in a noisy environment/just want to relax in peace and quiet/would prefer to be on your own out on your bicycle.

But.....on the flip side, I watched my dad be left alone by mum when he went of on one of his down hill trips. At the time they had quite a large house with a huge garden and at the top of the garden was dad's shed. That was his sanctuary, his own domain, that's where dad went to be alone and basically wallow in his own self pity.

He had everything he needed to spend many "happy" hours in there. Mum would take him a cuppa every now and then and never once questioned why or even sat with with him. Was that right do you think?

I am very much the same, I like my own space, probably like my own space to much and the older I get the worse I am getting.

However, my wife and also the kids try not to let me wallow the same as my dad did, they get me to go out when in truth I don't really want to. And in truth is once I am out, I usually "come round" and snap out of my silly head, which can only be a good thing.

My wife and kids witnessed what happened to my dad by being left alone, and while its annoying at the time, deep down I know that what they are doing, is for the best.

 

[RedBike]

I'm going nuts now that I can't ride. Talk about bottled up frustration!

Cycling (exercise) obviously has a very big impact on your mood!

 

[BrumJim]

Endorphine Cold Turkey, Mr Red Bike.

I'd say no, to letting a depressive have their own space. I found that mood swings were a lot bigger when I lived on my own. And the buzz from a high day can be bad news in the long term - gets you seeking the bad days to get that "good day high". After all, one of the horrible things about depression, is that whilst there may be a good reason that was the trigger, generally you can feel even when there is no good reason to.

 

[Mark82]

i sufferd a lot about a year back still do sometimes, i used to do a lot of hill walking and thats what i did when things got bad, wasnt always a good idea doing hills and peak district, some long drops.... so i use to set myself a route that was tough enough to challenge me ie speed walk, distance walks but something planned instead of just set off and go somewhere, fortunatly since i been riding i been ok, but if and when the time comes i'll go out for a ride on a route that i know well...

 

[661-Pete]

I've just finished the first pack (4 weeks' worth) of ADs. Some changes: certainly the anxiety is down, and most of the side effects gone. Perhaps the drugs are starting to 'kick in'. Whether I'll be back with motivation: not sure yet. Of course this could be a 'placebo' effect - or 'reversion to mean'. Too early to say. Must get more cycling in. And walking.

 

[Hacienda71]

I remember back in the early 90's when I had been prescribed prozac when it was relatively new, reading an article by Mariella Frostrup who was taking it as an appetite supressant, saying that after two months on the drug she weighed the same as when she started but now fell entirely happy with her weight. It summed up the feelings well for me. SSRI type drugs are a great crutch to get you through the worst of it but combine them with other things such as exercise and good diet which are a more gentle natural remedy.

 

[Twenty Inch]

I had wondered why I had received some very caring PMs from members (you know who you are, guys, thanks!) and found that this thread had been bumped. Pete, Alan, I hope you're ok. A mixture of exercise, diet, perhaps medication, certainly talking about it with friends has helped me to keep an even keel since November. I've started a new martial art which caters to the agressive, angry side of my character as well as knackering me out and giving me some nice bruises. I've also started doing some more work on the car, which is good therapy too....

It's been difficult. We've been having marriage counselling, and in the course of that it's become clear that some deep, deep issues have been coming to the surface and causing me a lot of grief. I've been able to recognise them and move on, and take steps to prevent them troubling me further. My wife is doing a good job on dealing with my behaviour and letting me know when it's not ok, and I'm doing a good job on being alert to this. My son is a little darling and a lovely chap. I'm still part-time at work but may go back full-time as I just don't think I can do my job in 4 days a week. However I'm ambivalent about this.

There is no once-for-all solution. I'm constantly monitoring my mood, feelings, thoughts, obsessions and negative thinking. It's a bit self-obsessive, but it's working.

I hope it gets better, guys.

TI

 

[martint235]

I had wondered why I had received some very caring PMs from members (you know who you are, guys, thanks!) and found that this thread had been bumped. Pete, Alan, I hope you're ok. A mixture of exercise, diet, perhaps medication, certainly talking about it with friends has helped me to keep an even keel since November. I've started a new martial art which caters to the agressive, angry side of my character as well as knackering me out and giving me some nice bruises. I've also started doing some more work on the car, which is good therapy too....

It's been difficult. We've been having marriage counselling, and in the course of that it's become clear that some deep, deep issues have been coming to the surface and causing me a lot of grief. I've been able to recognise them and move on, and take steps to prevent them troubling me further. My wife is doing a good job on dealing with my behaviour and letting me know when it's not ok, and I'm doing a good job on being alert to this. My son is a little darling and a lovely chap. I'm still part-time at work but may go back full-time as I just don't think I can do my job in 4 days a week. However I'm ambivalent about this.

There is no once-for-all solution. I'm constantly monitoring my mood, feelings, thoughts, obsessions and negative thinking. It's a bit self-obsessive, but it's working.

I hope it gets better, guys.

TI

Twenty inch, I wish you all the best. I really hope you can work through and cope. I came across this thread by accident and I hope I'm not intruding. I suffer anxiety and panic attacks rather than depression (I accept they are a completely different syndrome).

I've found (and my father and my mother - in law ie two different families) suffer depression, it tends, along with panic attacks to be a "hidden" illness. Hopefully the more of us that come forward with these illnesses wil bring it in to the main conscious.

Again, I'm sorry if I've caused offence by being off topic and including anxiety and panic attacks.

M

 

[Fab Foodie]

It's been difficult. We've been having marriage counselling, and in the course of that it's become clear that some deep, deep issues have been coming to the surface and causing me a lot of grief. I've been able to recognise them and move on, and take steps to prevent them troubling me further. My wife is doing a good job on dealing with my behaviour and letting me know when it's not ok, and I'm doing a good job on being alert to this. My son is a little darling and a lovely chap. I'm still part-time at work but may go back full-time as I just don't think I can do my job in 4 days a week. However I'm ambivalent about this.

There is no once-for-all solution. I'm constantly monitoring my mood, feelings, thoughts, obsessions and negative thinking. It's a bit self-obsessive, but it's working.

I hope it gets better, guys.

TI

Sounds like you're on a good path to 'recovery' (whatever that means for the depressive).
Firstly a good wife and family is really essential, Mrs FF deserves better for the patience she has shown me and my moods over the years. But gradually we/I are learning together how to avoid the triggers that cause the downward spirals. Also, working on the deep routed causes is very important. My one regret was that I gave -up areally good therapy at a critical point, however I'd figured enough to tackle some pretty major issues. Ultimately there's a degree of honesty required too. There are some aspects of my personality I cannot change, but I can avoid awakening them and I can remove my self from the stimulus, so by knowing my responses to certain situations ai can manage myself better. It seems like you're managing this too, which is really important.

Good luck with the recovery. It's great that you've found so much support here via PM's etc and people s responses. Cyclist are a pretty good bunch it seems!

Keep your face to the sunshine and you'll never see the shadows.

 

[steve30]

Ping: fellow depressives

/me waves