Phrases/terms for things that make you chuckle

[col]

As tight as a gnats chuff,had me in stitches when i first heard it.


Oh and .As sick as a chocolate fly in a heat wave, was another.

 

[TheDoctor]

'It's not rocket science!'

 

[Fab Foodie]

Tight as a Mackerels arse
Rough as a Badgers bum
Up and down like a brides nightie
In and out like a dog in a butchers door
She's so beautiful you could use her shite for toothpaste
Bugger 'em all except for one... and he can bugger himself
Up at Sparrow Fart
**** my old seaboots (Fornicate with my aged nautical footware... posh school version).

 

[Fab Foodie]

Ooops, the modern one that makes me chuckle most is... Muffin Tops!

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Attacked by Arse Wasps - that feeling you get when dropping the kids off at the pool the morning after a curry.

 

[rich p]

I bought some tortilla chips in a pub and the barman said," ah yes, mexican piss flaps"

 

[Over The Hill]

Does the Pope sh!t in the woods?

 

[gambatte]

As popular as a fart in a spacesuit.

 

[Aperitif]

Miniscule difference = '...a gnat's cock...'

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Giving it six - nowt: to perform an action with gusto.

 

[Lardyboy]

Not very p.c. but .....

"Self confessed player of the pink oboe."

God bless Peter Cook.

 

[Ashtrayhead]

'Face like a sandblasted tomato.'
'Looks like her face was on fire and been put out with a golf shoe.'
'Arse like two badly parked Volkswagens'

 

[Rhythm Thief]

'Arse like two badly parked Volkswagens'

 

[simonali]

Bloke I used to work with used to say 'She's got an arse like 2 kids fighting under a blanket'.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

Tighter than a pair of tights.
Sweating like a rabid monkey in a furnace.
One that had me simultaneously laughing and boaking: Sweating like a warm sh1te