Odd factoids

[roubaixtuesday]

Kid Creole is a delicious use for any spare young goats you happen to have no other use for.

 

[Drago]

Instead of a goat as a pet, the North Korean version of the Devil has a dog.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Enlightenment Venice, far from being a paradise of art, science and architecture was actually a North Korean diabolist death cult.

Hence the "Doge's Palace", where Beelzebub's hound was kept in luxury and fed fat Americans off the cruise ships.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Kid Creosote used to coat fences before someone heard him singing in their garden and his career took off.

 

[Drago]

Creosote was originally made from a heady mix of bitumen, sulphiric acid, napalm and Bisto. Sadly, namby pamby EU safety rules have meant that modern Creosote substitutes no longer contain Bisto.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Before the pettyfogging, stultifying French imposed tyranny upon Albion through the means of EU membership, restaurants in the UK were termed "Bistos", and served Bisto gravy with all meals.

The advent of EU membership saw them renamed "Bistros" and the imposition of compulsory garlic on diners. Poisoning of the British populace through these alien alliums fatally weakened our love of freedom and led to the surrender of traditions such as imperial metrics, including flanges and other pipe fittings.

Thanks to the heroic campaign led by Nigel "One inch" Flange, imperial measures are restored, though it remains to be seen if the British will really take up the new freedom to enjoy Pizza or creme brulee with Bisto.

 

[Threevok]

Bisto is an acronym for British Industry Standard Tractor Oil

Due to the demise of the farming industry (plus the fact that people in Gloucester switched to driving cars)
the UK was left with huge stockpile of the stuff, so they powdered it and marketed it as "Gravy"

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Bisto used to be Bistro back in the 60/70s. But due to health and safety gone mad. They had to remove the radioactive ingredients

 

[Drago]

Radioactivity was invented by the Co-Op at the height of the cold war in order to sell a gullible public their new range of geiger counters.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The Kona Sutra was originally a sex position carried out hurtling down mountains. It is now a mountain bike.

 

[Drago]

Mountains take their name from the 70's rock band, mountain. Prior to that they were known as pimples, but George Mallory was a huge fan of the band and named them in its honour.

Similarly, Everest was named by Edmund Hillary, who was the MD of Everest double glazing.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Geiger counters are made in Geiger- factories, recently popularised by Elon Musk as Gigafactories.

Whilst purportedly manufacturing batteries, the geiger counters are necessitated by the nuclear reactors that really power Tesla cars. These are highly radioactive, and stored just below the drivers seat, the gamma radiation can cause intense swelling of male genitals.

This is why Tesla drivers are universally referred to as "humungous bellends".

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The Tan Hill Inn was in fact on Everest in the 1970s. John Noakes was one of the first to summit Everest without oxygen. It why there’s always a blizzard outside on the adverts.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

The world's highest mountain, Everest is named after the British cartographer George Everest.

The world's second highest mountain, K2, is named after the great great great great grandfather of Dr Who star K-9.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Broad Peak is a 8000m hat 🧢