Odd factoids

[roubaixtuesday]

The 2021 version of Jungle Book is called Amazon Blog

Blog Snorkelling is a sport where participants must write uninformed inflammatory clickbait about how lazy and ignorant other people are whilst snorkeling in the Caribbean.

Julia Hartley Brewer is the current world champion.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Mr Kipling, also known as Rudyard to his chums, would often write poetry during downtime in the bakery.

According to the official record, Rudyard Kipling was named after the place of his conception, Rudyard in Staffordshire.

Whilst true, it's not the whole story: nearby Rushton Spencer was renamed from simple "Spencer" to honour the seminal event, a knee-trembler in the broom cupboard of the "Knot Inn".

"Rushed-in-Spencer" later voted to modify its name to "Rushton Spencer" in a controversial parish referendum known as "Ruxit" (pron. Ruck-shìt), promoted by local Mayor and noted priapist Boris Strong-Bone.

 

[PeteXXX]

Willie Rushton was once asked if he liked Kipling.
He replied 'I don't know I've never been kippled!'

 

[Tribansman]

Kippled actually refers to the bloated state of nausea after gorging on cake, while also hallucinating you're in speedos singing a trio with a large bear and a black panther

 

[Ming the Merciless]

The Humber Bridge was built by the army of Sweyn Forkbeard in 990AD to aid travelling to battles at weekends. He was known to mutter Don‘t Pay the Ferryman.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Sweyn Forkbeard (Füükbyrrd in the original old Norse) was so named because of his predilection for bearded ladies.

 

[Drago]

In viking times "bearded ladies" was a socially acceptable, nudge-nudge wink-wink, term for rent boys.

 

[Tribansman]

Famous Viking Ivan the Boneless was one of the first known, documented sufferers of erectile dysfunction. Viagra is Old Norse for 'gifter of bones'

 

[Drago]

Ivan the Boneless fled east after being caught in flagrante with a rent boy, and eventually got a job as a stand up comedian in Moscow. His jokes were not grade A material, and he became known as Ivan the Terrible.

 

[Tribansman]

Ivan Lendl was nicknamed 'the terrible' due to the stone-cold, clinical way he unleashed his lethal forehand.

Following his retirement, Lendl became a strong proponent of nominative determinism and took a job with Apple as a delivery driver for their new, semi-automated iVans. However, he was sacked after refusing to deliver to the SW19 postcode citing possible PTSD after his multiple failures at the All England Club Championships.

 

[Drago]

SW19 are an E17 tribute band.

 

[Tribansman]

East 17 were named after the wind direction and average wind speed of the day they all first met on a breezy June morning on Southend pier

 

[PeteXXX]

Wind has always been a problem for residents of Southend due to the constant consumption of jellied eels and pie mash & liquor.

 

[Drago]

Jellied eels are nothing more than old inner tubes in Vaseline.

 

[PeteXXX]

Vasolene is what vegans put in their cars instead of gasoline.