Mundane News (Part 1)

[classic33]

Love it I wish I had as he is now snoring and I'm going for the elbow jab :-)

It might be dan_bo, on his way to get a pint?

 

[hopless500]

Sod this weekday $hit, i'm off for a pint.

Beat you to it

 

[phil_hg_uk]

A man has fallen asleep on my shoulder on the train. I don't know him and he smells urghh :-(

Just suddenly scream really loud that will get rid of him.

 

[Hill Wimp]

Haha, this needs an upgrade from Mundane News btw :-)

I elbowed him and he shrugged himself awake, saw that i was getting ready to get up so he stood up and let me out. I said nothing.

He got back in his seat muttering that i could have said thank you .......

I said " Thank you, thank you, why would i thank you when you have spent the last half an hour dribbling and snoring over my shoulder, you stink like you haven't washed for a week and you need to clean your teeth. You also need to know that the text you managed to type, about what you had done to some poor woman last night that wasn't your wife, before you fell asleep has now been sent to your whole contact list which if i remember correctly includes your wife. Get a bath, brush your teeth and get to the clinic before you inflict yourself on your wife "

The train was packed and the passengers gripped.

 

[Lullabelle]

Just put my 4'th orchid in for a drink, 1 at a time takes time so the other 5 tomorrow

 

[classic33]

Just suddenly scream really loud that will get rid of him.

Where's he going to go given that he's next to her on a train?

 

[phil_hg_uk]

Where's he going to go given that he's next to her on a train?

Sorry I wasnt thinking I dont go on trains ............. ok change of plan chuck him through the window.

 

[classic33]

I elbowed him and he shrugged himself awake, saw that i was getting ready to get up so he stood up and let me out. I said nothing.

He got back in his seat muttering that i could have said thank you .......

I said " Thank you, thank you, why would i thank you when you have spent the last half an hour dribbling and snoring over my shoulder, you stink like you haven't washed for a week and you need to clean your teeth. You also need to know that the text you managed to type, about what you had done to some poor woman last night that wasn't your wife, before you fell asleep has now been sent to your whole contact list which if i remember correctly includes your wife. Get a bath, brush your teeth and get to the clinic before you inflict yourself on your wife "

The train was packed and the passengers gripped.

Monday journeys will require an update, if thats they way you left your man.

 

[Hill Wimp]

Can i just add that the man in question was wearing a pin striped suit and a rolex. He also had a Coutts diary that fell out of his pocket and keys to a Mercedes in his pocket.
Wild assumption i know but what a banker

 

[classic33]

Sorry I wasnt thinking I dont go on trains ............. ok change of plan chuck him through the window.

He didn't have the window seat.

 

[Lullabelle]

Can i just add that the man in question was wearing a pin striped suit and a rolex. He also had a Coutts diary that fell out of his pocket and keys to a Mercedes in his pocket.
Wild assumption i know but what a banker

Did you mean to post the word 'banker'

 

[classic33]

You got the key to the merc I take it? Ready to hand in at lost property on Monday.

 

[Hill Wimp]

Did you mean to post the word 'banker'

 

[JoeyB]

I elbowed him and he shrugged himself awake, saw that i was getting ready to get up so he stood up and let me out. I said nothing.

He got back in his seat muttering that i could have said thank you .......

I said " Thank you, thank you, why would i thank you when you have spent the last half an hour dribbling and snoring over my shoulder, you stink like you haven't washed for a week and you need to clean your teeth. You also need to know that the text you managed to type, about what you had done to some poor woman last night that wasn't your wife, before you fell asleep has now been sent to your whole contact list which if i remember correctly includes your wife. Get a bath, brush your teeth and get to the clinic before you inflict yourself on your wife "

The train was packed and the passengers gripped.

Best post ever haha

 

[EltonFrog]

My version is China, not Hong Kong

My version is funnier.