Management Speak

[MossCommuter]

A discussion of how the solutions we offer align to Transformation Areas to enable greater momentum and speed of your opportunities through the sales cycle.

 

[nickyboy]

For someone whose job appears to be Secret Shopper for Wetherspoons you do seem to come across some high-falutin management speak

 

[SteCenturion]

Probably been done before but I just came across a new one:



Do you have to go on a course to learn to speak like that?

Yes, think it is run by the NHS & is a daycare lobotomy job.

 

[snorri]

Just a minute or two into a training lecture I became aware of gross overuse of these silly phrases and decided to note down each one and also record with a tick each time the phrase was repeated. During the tea break another attendee congratulated me on my attention to the speaker and my writing of copious notes.

 

[Drago]

Lets put this thread on the back burner.

 

[Profpointy]

Lets put this thread on the back burner.

or kick it into the long grass

 

[Drago]

What are the KPI's for this thread?

 

[MossCommuter]

What are the KPI's for this thread?

We'll need to define the SLA first

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

I was at a few meetings today, and I asked people what they were meaning as I couldn't really understand them due to "management speak", it was quite fun listening to their replies and even more fun when I said "nope, I still haven't got a clue what you're on about can you try again"

 

[perplexed]

If you work in the NHS pseudonymisation is a fairly basic concept.

I worked in the NHS for about 25 years and I never heard that word spoken. But then again, not management...

 

[Drago]

I think it's time this discussion was red circled and the stakeholders consulted.

 

[Shut Up Legs]

"I would like to understand the landscape before we get ahead of ourselves."

Todays real BS.

That would take some doing. Even when I was a lot younger, and in my "experimental substances" phase, I never managed to get ahead of myself.

 

[gbb]

Then there's the management style of questioning the bleedin obvious

We were sent an email with a photo attached of a barrier that's been hit by a forklift and is dislodged. It requests we repair it....followed by the words....'we need to understand how this happened guys "

Errrrr...
My colleague rolled his eyes..
'FFS, a forklift tw@tted it, how many ways can you explain it ?'

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Then there's the management style of questioning the bleedin obvious

We were sent an email with a photo attached of a barrier that's been hit by a forklift and is dislodged. It requests we repair it....followed by the words....'we need to understand how this happened guys "

Errrrr...
My colleague rolled his eyes..
'FFS, a forklift tw@tted it, how many ways can you explain it ?'

A few people I work with use the phrase "we need to drill down to understand this..." My usual response is along the lines of "it's fecking obvious"

 

[Piemaster]

Apparently we will soon be having a 'gap analysis' audit?

Nope, me neither.