Management Speak

[Maverick Goose]

I tried pushing the envelope, but it was still stationary...

 

[Piemaster]

Why are top level managers known by their initials?
"We shall have to have a good tidy round guys, PCH is visiting tomorrow."

Leaves more space on the memo for, well, all the crap in the rest of the thread.

 

[Flick of the Elbow]

Why are top level managers known by their initials?
"We shall have to have a good tidy round guys, PCH is visiting tomorrow."

Remembering CJ, and Mrs CJ. "I didn't get where you are today..."

But not universally true. I work for a large corporate and all the top execs are just known by their first names. Possibly because most of us can't remember and/or can't pronounce their surnames.

 

[nickyboy]

Why are top level managers known by their initials?
"We shall have to have a good tidy round guys, PCH is visiting tomorrow."

I remember a million years ago I worked in an organisation in the days before emails and whatnot so communication was by written memo that was moved around the building by a team of post workers

There was actually a written list of staff that could and should be referred to by their initials in the circulation. Woe betide anyone that didn't use initials when they should or vice versa. It was a status thing; if you'd got onto the "Initials List" then you'd made it.

I wasn't on the list

 

[Oxo]

I remember a million years ago I worked in an organisation in the days before emails and whatnot so communication was by written memo that was moved around the building by a team of post workers

There was actually a written list of staff that could and should be referred to by their initials in the circulation. Woe betide anyone that didn't use initials when they should or vice versa. It was a status thing; if you'd got onto the "Initials List" then you'd made it.

I wasn't on the list

The real problems started when you were on the list initially and them realised that you had been taken off it.

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Apologies if someone's posted this in the last 8 pages, but it seems appropriate:

 

[MossCommuter]

"What is the cost element moving forward?"

 

[User32269]

We had a meeting with one of our senior managers a couple of years back over changes to our jobs and redundancies. We were all comforted to find out:

"The marketplace is fluid, but we have the ability to constantly evolve due to moving to a dynamic, pre-emptive & solution based workforce culture."

It was good to know that.

 

[ColinJ]

Remembering CJ, and Mrs CJ. "I didn't get where you are today..."

I didn't get to where I am today by not having the initials 'CJ'!

 

[Maverick Goose]

"What is the cost element moving forward?"

''sourcing new revenue streams is key...''

 

[Dan B]

^ Yes, on-boarding is normal speak at my place. But we wouldn't say staff, we would say resources or FTE's

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Dilbert got it right, as usual

 

[Brains]

Going to the loo,
I work in a maritime company, therefore all the 'loo' euphemisms tends to be in maritime English
The most common is 'de-ballast', but we also have 'bulk discharge', a reference that you may need to pay 'demurrage' if you are going to be a while, or you will be available 'spot prompt' if you are not.

 

[MossCommuter]

Today's humdinger: "Thank you for sharing your ideas in the Ideation Phase."

 

[Maverick Goose]

May I humbly offer 'solutioneering' and 'enterprise deployment teams'...