My mum was always in charge of the money in our working class home and my dad 'tipped up' and was given spending money, even when they were both working. He knew about the savings accounts and purchases etc though. They have both passed on, but I find it odd that with my middle class in-laws, both mid 80's, the fil is the one who deals with the money. Mil has no idea about what they have, savings, bills etc. and does not have, or would know how to use, a cash point card. I guess part of it is that we were always skint so my mum needed to watch every penny.
The problem comes when the one who has sole competency in a particular area passes away.
You still hear of widowers being baffled by the intracacies of a washing machine, or boiling an egg.
I imagine such phenomena will become increasingly rare as time goes on, and set roles are less clearly defined.
My parents both had their own personal bank accounts, and both worked full time.
I've always operated the same way in relationships.
Once the household costs are divided reasonably equitably.
Any spare money is for the person who earned it to spend.
I've not had a relationship with someone who has ever earned a great deal more or less than me, or had wildly differing spending habits, so I'm not sure if that happenstance would change the shared spending dynamic.
. Works the other way too but it's usually selfish men
