How do you cope!

[Kovu]

I had someone tell a mate a small tip once as well. It's ok to think about the bad things but don't focus on it, she was basically told to have a set time where she thought about it. She couldn't think about it all for the whole day until at 7:00pm where she would think about it for 20 mins or so and have a cry about it. She generally got into a routine and didnt need those 20 mins as time went by.

Just saying its ok to think about them, but not focus all your energy on it.

 

[pedaling]

Yeh, good point Kovu, that works quite well too. If you set an alloted time to let it out - cry/ scream/ sit and stare at the carpet... whatever... then you have that focus, and it helps it to stop interfering.

Tbh, I was annoyed when my friend said that I had to 'make a choice' - I mean, I wasn't choosing to feel the way I had for several weeks, was I? etc etc. But I realised what said friend said was true, and I simply had to make that choice. For a long while I blamed the medication and its effects, but then I realised that even if it was still having a residual impact, and even if it did trigger it, I was the single person who could start to manage what was happening... and I had to, there was no choice really.

 

[Kovu]

Yeh, good point Kovu, that works quite well too. If you set an alloted time to let it out - cry/ scream/ sit and stare at the carpet... whatever... then you have that focus, and it helps it to stop interfering.

Tbh, I was annoyed when my friend said that I had to 'make a choice' - I mean, I wasn't choosing to feel the way I had for several weeks, was I? etc etc. But I realised what said friend said was true, and I simply had to make that choice. For a long while I blamed the medication and its effects, but then I realised that even if it was still having a residual impact, and even if it did trigger it, I was the single person who could start to manage what was happening... and I had to, there was no choice really.

My mate was like that (another one, gosh i have happy friends) and he was so down, and close to sucidal thoughts, but he got thorough it because he told people and they helped him ... he went to professional people as well, but it wasnt for him and he found it more benefitcal talking to me.

Its swings and roundabouts basically.

 

[pedaling]

I found my friends most helpful too, and I found out who I could rely on. I think acknowledging that other people to some extent can understand and that they do genuinely care about you really helps. The sense of isolation is the worst because it makes you really antisocial to the extent that seeking help and admitting that it is okay is difficult.

Although the friend I actually mention was a partner who I then split up with a few months later because our relationship had gone way beyond its due-date and was just causing us both more stress than anything. I suppose after so long we didn't want to give it up.

I'm glad your friend got through it. Having a routine (even if it does sound strange) is something that I realise I need now, and if that means my mood is less jumpy, then so be it. Exercise, too, helps incredibly.

 

[Kovu]

Thank you Pedaling. Surprisingly to say I am only 16 I have seen alot of my friends go thorough depression for various reasons and it totally destroy them.
Exercise helped him to, he often went free running to the point where he was so exhausted that he couldnt think about stuff.
Similarly (not in same way though) Whenever i'm down, it always helps to thrash out some hard miles on the bike and i just feel more chilled.

 

[Madcyclist]

I've definately found that cycling has helped me, cuts down the time spent alone in the house we shared. My return commute of just over 9 miles has often stretched to over 40, although not now the dark cold nights have set it.

 

[Willow]

I've definately found that cycling has helped me, cuts down the time spent alone in the house we shared. My return commute of just over 9 miles has often stretched to over 40, although not now the dark cold nights have set it.

I feel I can add so much yet so little to this post. I agree with lots that has been said but when you are in it it is so difficult to get past even the next hurdle. I needed my job and my children just to get up in the morning. We had one of the horrid henry joke books at the tea table every day just so we had something to make us smile, it helped (must get it out again). It all helps, and I cope much better on the surface but underneath it all is a terrible sadness and a lack of understanding about how and why it all happened. I don't believe that question will ever be answered but I can only search for that answer if I get on with life.

 

[col]

Im really sorry to hear your suffering,both of you,i can only add that time does ease things,and do spend time with friends if you can.