Going through the motions...

[User482]

I assume that expecting a baby is making your brother and his girlfriend happy - so sending congratulations would be in response to that, and is nothing to do with your own wish to not have children.

 

[Yellow Fang]

You sound like my brother. It's now almost impossible to contact him. He doesn't respond to texts, e-mails or phone calls. My mother manages to call him at work but only because the switchboard put her through.

 

[NickM]

Perhaps he would prefer that they didn't. Why does your mother's desire to contact him overrule his desire not to be contacted?

 

[Arch]

Perhaps he would prefer that they didn't. Why does your mother's desire to contact him overrule his desire not to be contacted?

I'd say it was 50/50 - if she can only get him at work, then it seems fair - she gets her 50%, he gets his at home.

Although I get on great with Mum, and sister, and adore nephew Oli (which has taken me by surprise, since I wasn't really into kids in a big way, but I find watching him develop is fascinating), I have an aunt and uncle-by-marriage I pretty much have nothing to do with, in Canada. So much so that watching the Terry Prachett thing about Alzheimers recently, it never occurred to me until a week later to remember that my aunt has just been diagnosed with it. So, not the sort of thing you send a congratulations card for... I suppose, if Mum (her sister) wanted me to make contact, I would, but for Mum's sake really.

I think a simple congratulations email would be easy enough to send, even if it was a bit through gritted teeth.

 

[Arch]

Actually, now I think about it, I heard the other week that someone I don't particularly like is having a baby, and found myself muttering congratulations pretty much through gritted teeth - and that was face to face, harder than an email...