Give me some dialogue from your day

[cosmicbike]

@subaqua another virtual pat on the back, well done. Faith in society restored.

Since I'm now allowed out on bike, discussing with my daughter (age 7) which route we take tomorrow

Me:- So, bike ride tomorrow, shall we do the usual route backwards?
Daughter:- What do you mean, backwards?
M:- I mean we ride our bikes around it backwards..
D:- Oh. Really?
M:- No, but you know that big hill we normally go up?
D:- Yes, I don't like one that 'cos I've not ridden my new purple bike much and I'm not very good on it (her first bike with gears, she used to go up said hill on her first single speed bike)
M:- Well, we get to go down it, wahay!
D:- But if we go down a big hill, we just have to go up another one....

Guess we're sticking to the flatter route round The Royal Landscape tomorrow then

 

[subaqua]

@subaqua another virtual pat on the back, well done. Faith in society restored.

Since I'm now allowed out on bike, discussing with my daughter (age 7) which route we take tomorrow

Me:- So, bike ride tomorrow, shall we do the usual route backwards?
Daughter:- What do you mean, backwards?
M:- I mean we ride our bikes around it backwards..
D:- Oh. Really?
M:- No, but you know that big hill we normally go up?
D:- Yes, I don't like one that 'cos I've not ridden my new purple bike much and I'm not very good on it (her first bike with gears, she used to go up said hill on her first single speed bike)
M:- Well, we get to go down it, wahay!
D:- But if we go down a big hill, we just have to go up another one....

Guess we're sticking to the flatter route round The Royal Landscape tomorrow then

kids always bring you back down with a bump

 

[Scoosh]

@subaqua -

One chap lucky to have you passing will be very grateful - as will his family !

Top Job ! or if you'd rather ...

 

[Andrew_Culture]

From yesterday.....

British Army Soldier to me. I'm using a real SA80:

"There's one in the bushes over there on the ridgeline..........good shot, I think you killed him".

Huh?

 

[Doseone]

Huh?

I'm just showing off really, but I had an afternoon on the Dismounted Close Combat Trainer at the Infantry Battle School. Imagine Call Of Duty with a screen the size of a cinema and using real guns. They run various scenarios as it's used to train the soldiers before they go out on operations. We were in a scenario where we were on patrol in Afghanistan and I was being shot at by an "insurgent" hidden in bushes on the ridgeline.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

I'm just showing off really, but I had an afternoon on the Dismounted Close Combat Trainer at the Infantry Battle School. Imagine Call Of Duty with a screen the size of a cinema and using real guns. They run various scenarios as it's used to train the soldiers before they go out on operations. We were in a scenario where we were on patrol in Afghanistan and I was being shot at by an "insurgent" hidden in bushes on the ridgeline.

Oh I see! I suddenly wondered if you were in the services and on active duty!

 

[ScotiaLass]

me -hello, hello, can you hear me. I'm going to call an ambulance if you don't respond mate.

999 operator -hello what emergency service do you require

me ambulance please ,

999 -hello London ambulance service

me Hello I have an unconscious but breathing male approx 40 yrs old

999 where are you

me -outside Leyton underground station.


this isn't a rant at anybody but of all the cars that went past only 1 stopped to offer any assistance, all the others just drove past . I had seen the guy lying in the road and turned round and gone back to help. I made sure his airway was open and stayed with him till LAS took over.
I need to offload as am currently running that rollercoaster that I knew would arrive and talking to friends helps.

I'm glad there are still decent people around.
I know I'd like someone to stop if that was my dad/son/daughter etc in need.
Well done.

 

[jhawk]

Not really dialogue.

But my Uncle in the UK recently bought a new bike!

His wife commented on his FB status about the new bike...

"Can't see why one would need more than 2 bikes, dear."

He replied.

"Shall we start on how many pairs of shoes you need my dear? No? Thought not."

 

[ColinJ]

Sister: I finally got rid of that horrible sour milk smell from the boot of my car yesterday.

Me: New cleaning product?

Sis: No - try again!

Me: Advice from a cleaning tips website?

Sis: Nope.

Me: Car Cleaners R Us?

Sis: Nope.

Me: Ok, I give up ...

Sis: Somebody stole my car from outside the house last night, and torched it when it ran out of petrol!

Me: I see our family sense of humour is still alive and kicking!

 

[gbb]

Four of us are stood in the lift in Peterborough hospital, that quiet moment when we're all waiting while it descends...
the wife suddenly announces...
'Hey, we're in Schindlers lift !!!!'

And she was right.., as we all looked at the manufacturers plaque
as the door opened, four giggling people burst out, i wonder what the waiting people thought

 

[kevin_cambs_uk]

My wife commented on how I am a bit like James Bond
I was well flattered!

 

[ColinJ]

My wife commented on how I am a bit like James Bond
I was well flattered!

You kill male strangers, sleep with female ones, and drive like a lunatic on busy roads?

 

[kevin_cambs_uk]

l

You smoke like a chimney and drink huge amounts?

LOL !

no !

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I'm in the dining/living room as my OH comes in from outside

OH: can't get your brake blocks off at all...
Me (still in nightdress): Can you bring the bike in and I'll have a look?
OH brings my bike inside (its filthy from me getting home late at night on Friday night in torrential rain (think muddy lanes of Cheshire))

Sometime later, I have the brake blocks off no problem, just can't get the screw holding the pads into the cartridges off, so was checking out the callipers as well to make sure no issues there given we now need to head off to a bike shop because the bike has to be operational tomorrow 8am. I'm standing (still in nightdress) at the kitchen sink with the rear wheel over said sink at my side and front wheel to the side of sink

OH: I thought you were just changing the brake blocks?
Me (thinking: **** missed that warning sign didn't I): I am...
OH: so why is the bike in bits and you're cleaning the wheels & cassette
Me: well its like this...

He seems to have missed the point - I needed to clean the rims to check they were OK (metal on metal noise on Friday's emergency stop) and that's easiest with clean rims and the cassette needed cleaning, (now trying to figure out how I explain the chain in the chainsaw oil on the stove....)

10 mins later

Me: look on the bright side of things
OH: err? what's that?
Me: the sink is now clean

Ooops - not sure I have this "him being at home to ask questions" thing sorted out yet and we have only been married 17 years!

OH: take it your nightdress will be going for a wash today then as well?
Me:

 

[Pat "5mph"]

At work, all side exits patrolled by G4S, for crowd control.
Me (helmet, hi-viz, heading for the bike park): "bye"
G4S (does not know I work there): "you can't get out of that door, need to go all the way round"
Me: "ok, no problem" push the door open, wave and exit
G4S: "Grunt!!"