Give me some dialogue from your day

[GrasB]

Better Half: (¿pretends to? miss hear an artist friend saying she would lend me her precious metal work tools) Care to rephrase that before I beat you senseless!
Female Artist Friend: Er....
Me: That's taking things a little far?
BH: NO!
FAF & Me:
Me: Hun, why don't we go home.
BH: you thought I was serious?!
Me & FAF: YES!

 

[Andrew_Culture]

That's one scatalogical kid you've got there!

Just like her dad!

 

[gbb]

Bleary eyed me to the wife....
'Ok, I've decided you can get up at five next week and walk the dog, empty the dishwasher and make the tea....and I will have a lie in till 5.30 ' (Our routine for the last 20 years reversed )
wife...
'ok..'
me..

wife...
'and you can make the meals, clean up..blah blah blah...'
me...

 

[simon the viking]

Me (to customer): Are you aware you have parked the wrong way on a way street?

Customer: Yes..... Have you got a........

Also Note the said one way street is also pedestriansied to all but blue badge holders

 

[simon the viking]

Was he a blue badge abuser?

Actually he was an elderly chap so he may have had a blue badge and reasonably entitled to it... It just amazed me he knew he had just driven up a one street the wrong way

 

[Doseone]

From yesterday.....

British Army Soldier to me. I'm using a real SA80:

"There's one in the bushes over there on the ridgeline..........good shot, I think you killed him".

 

[GrasB]

colleague: you know those servers we ordered last week?
me: yeah?
c: they've arrived
m: have fun!
c: aren't you going to help?
m: nope. occ-health said light duties & absolutely no lifting
c: git
m: yeah you stack em & rack em. I'll find a brick wall to bang my head against
c: hu?
m: I'll get all the headaches out the way first
c: har har
m: well I've got the pain killers

 

[Lullabelle]

Actually he was an elderly chap so he may have had a blue badge and reasonably entitled to it... It just amazed me he knew he had just driven up a one street the wrong way

We all know that only mothers are allowed to do that

 

[Lanzecki]

Me : "It's Broken"
Customer : "How do you know, you havn't looked at it"
Me : "You dropped it (computer) from a 6 foot loading bay onto concrete. trust me, it's a write off"
Customer : "Is there nothing you can do?"
Me : "Well I could repair it. The hours and parts would cost more then a brand new computer. Therefore it's a write off"
Customer : "Well, can you give me a quote to repair it"
Me : "Yes, but it's chargable"
Customer : "Umm, only if I get it repaired I assume?"

Soon to be an ex-customer. He decided to save a few euro by moving all his computers with his staff.

 

[subaqua]

me -hello, hello, can you hear me. I'm going to call an ambulance if you don't respond mate.

999 operator -hello what emergency service do you require

me ambulance please ,

999 -hello London ambulance service

me Hello I have an unconscious but breathing male approx 40 yrs old

999 where are you

me -outside Leyton underground station.


this isn't a rant at anybody but of all the cars that went past only 1 stopped to offer any assistance, all the others just drove past . I had seen the guy lying in the road and turned round and gone back to help. I made sure his airway was open and stayed with him till LAS took over.
I need to offload as am currently running that rollercoaster that I knew would arrive and talking to friends helps.

 

[welsh dragon]

Well done for stopping and trying to help. So many others would not and did not stop. The gentleman was lucky that you passed. Give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.

 

[laurence]

haven't spoken to anyone all day, but Chris Hoy retweeted a tweet of mine! fame!!!

 

[Cubist]

@subaqua Yep. SO many people think it's nothing to do with them, and carry on, so another well done from me.

 

[subaqua]

Did you get his wallet?

I may have a scouse accent , but am not a scouser !

git

LAS were great , kept me "in the zone" . was nice to have the Met call me by my name instead of sir !

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Me: So, what do you think?
My boss: You are a f*cking genius
Me: I know