Give me some dialogue from your day

[BigonaBianchi]

Yay...another blissfull day in paradise under blue skies, palm trees gently blowing in the tropical breeze along a sapphire sea and golden sand beaches. Just propped up the bianchi against the bar, had an ice cool cocktail served to me by a grass skirted tanned maiden with flowers protecting her modesty while I check out my $multi billion portfolio on my smartphone. Had to replace the bike with a new one as I got some dirt on the old one, but not to worry, the walla said it would be delivered in about ten minutes.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

... Had to replace the bike with a new one as I got some dirt on the old one, but not to worry, the walla said it would be delivered in about ten minutes.

I know someone (my god-mother's husband) who did exactly that with his new Jag back in the '70's. (we were staying there at the time.) The Jag was less than a week old when he drove threw a flock of pidgeons. He and the inside of the car ended up covered in pidgeon blood. When he got home, he rang his garage, the car was taken away and a new one delivered that night!

 

[Andrew_Culture]

"Mum! You would not belieeeve the size of the bogey I just had on my finger!!"
"Oh, really, and where is it now?"

"You ate it didn't you?"

Think yourself lucky, my girl brings hers to show me.

 

[Crackle]

"Mum! You would not belieeeve the size of the bogey I just had on my finger!!"
"Oh, really, and where is it now?"

"You ate it didn't you?"

You're not getting a Like for that!

 

[siadwell]

My wife, phoning me from home: "I think I'm going mad. I'm sure I bought two printer cartridges on Saturday and I've fitted one but can't find the other. Have you seen it?"
Me: "Nope"
A few minutes later I got a text: "Just found cartridge in freezer"

In her defence, I should point out that the printer lives on top of the fridge-freezer, so it could have fallen in there...somehow.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Crap...missed the bin men ...again...why can't they just stick to the same day...ar%ggggh

3 weeks of rubbish ...ffs.

 

[Cubist]

the cure involves chillies... works a treat as I found out accidentally last night... I made the mistake of cutting up some chillies to go with tea. Later I picked my nose... owwwwWWWW.... hurt for hours.

some would argue that would make them more palatable

 

[subaqua]

some would argue that would make them more palatable

i had some chilli sauce on my fingers and stifled a sneeze , the chilli sauce transferred and on inhalation a small amount travelled upwards- cleared the airways thats for sure and quite a "buzz" but i wouldn't recommend it.

last guy i knew who sniffed chillis ended up in a korma

 

[threebikesmcginty]

^ Talking to himself, nutter.

 

[Speicher]

I overheard part of a conversation today:

I asked him to take the lead in organising the Dog Show.

 

[Arch]

On the phone:

Mum: How are you today?
Me: Much the same as yesterday... (I've got a flu like virus)
Mum: Oh dear. Listen do you want me to come up?
Me: Oh no, really, there's nothing you can do, I'm just dozing all day.
Mum: Well, if you're sure? I would you know...
Me: No, no really, I'll cope.

(Me thinking, god no, if she comes up, I'll have to tidy!)

 

[Night Train]

On the phone:

Mum: How are you today?
Me: Much the same as yesterday... (I've got a flu like virus)
Mum: Oh dear. Listen do you want me to come up?
Me: Oh no, really, there's nothing you can do, I'm just dozing all day.
Mum: Well, if you're sure? I would you know...
Me: No, no really, I'll cope.

(Me thinking, god no, if she comes up, I'll have to tidy!)

Or I could come over and tidy, and do the washing up, and bring back the laundry, and deliver an extra oil radiator.

 

[Arch]

Or I could come over and tidy, and do the washing up, and bring back the laundry, and deliver an extra oil radiator.

Bless you. But I'm feeling a bit less like death today. I will manage the washing up later. It's my challenge for the day.

Today's Dialogue (by text)

Sister: Max is taking after me, he just put Granola up his nose! (she put some berries up her nose as a child, she had to be taken to hospital to retrieve them)

Me: Oh dear, I hope he isn't going to be a cereal offender...

Sister: Even with flu, you've still got it!

 

[Sandra6]

Eldest son was heading off to a gig in Glasgow, overnight trip with his mates.
me - Shouldn't you be packing a bag or something?
Eldest - hmm, I won't need much. Maybe a sandwich and a book.
me - I was thinking more of a change of clothes and your toothbrush.
Eldest - puzzled look before going in search of a book and making a sandwich.
Love that he took a book though.

 

[Archie_tect]

And what do you think 48hr anti perspirant is for?

The gullible.