Give me some dialogue from your day

[Andrew_Culture]

My mother to me:

Mother: Put your stuff in the dish washer
Me: In a minute
Mother: But you never do

(Couple of minutes later I get up to put them in the dishwasher)

Mother: No, they don't go on that side

... a never winning situation, I try to put them in but apparently the cutlery needs to face handle down in the basket thing and not up and the plates need to go at the back and not at the front.

Dishwasher fascism exists in every home. My wife disapproves of my 'if the door shuts easily then the dishwasher isn't full yet' methodology.

 

[Matthew_T]

I try to put them in but apparently the cutlery needs to face handle down in the basket thing and not up and the plates need to go at the back and not at the front.

Cutlery always goes handle down. That is how they get cleaned.

 

[Chromatic]

Cutlery always goes handle down. That is how they get cleaned.

Not in our house when I load the dishwasher, which is always.

 

[Matthew_T]

Not in our house when I load the dishwasher, which is always.

Just like my dad. He really annoys me when he just stuffs them in there. Fortunately it broke so we have been using the sink for the past 2 months.

 

[Speicher]

Me (to the man who delivered my groceries this morning) "Where are you going next?"
Him: Parkhurst
Me No, I don't think so

 

[numbnuts]

I haven't spoken to anybody today

 

[Andrew_Culture]

A work colleague brought in donuts, we asked if it was his birthday, he replied that it wasn't and the reason he bought donuts for everyone was that he <polite_version>achieved energetic yet meaningful and emotionally fulfilling congress with a member of the opposite sex at the weekend</polite_version>

 

[Theseus]

A work colleague brought in donuts, we asked if it was his birthday, he replied that it wasn't and the reason he bought donuts for everyone was that he <polite_version>achieved energetic yet meaningful and emotionally fulfilling congress with a member of the opposite sex at the weekend</polite_version>

Were they the ones with holes, or the cream filled ones?

 

[gbb]

'OI !!!, you better not be bringing that bike in the house.'

Damn those clicky campag hubs ....i was just going for a bath, then realised the bike was still out.

'Don't fret, i'll put it away when ive had my bath'
'You'd better or you'll find your tyres flat'

 

[Rezillo]

Cutlery always goes handle down. That is how they get cleaned.

That is how it used to be here until I slipped on some water by the (open dishwasher). I put my hand into the dishwasher tray on the door as I fell and ended up with a knife in my thumb, with the point stuck in the bone by the top joint. I pulled it out, thought 'blimey, that was painful' then passed out and fell to the floor again, this time almost on top of the dishwasher tray. The resultant crash of scattered bowls and cutlery brought my wife to the kitchen when she found me groggily staggering around saying there was no problem before falling down again.

It could have been a lot worse - googling dishwasher knife death was a bit worrying.

John

 

[Matthew_T]

This reads like a classic casualty explanation.

Bizzarre ER anyone?

 

[subaqua]

This reads like a classic casualty explanation.

good job he hadn't just finished peeling carrots naked as well. or they would never had beleived him

 

[Rezillo]

This reads like a classic casualty explanation.

Fortunately, I didn't have to explain it to anyone at the time, which was just as well because investigating workplace accidents was part of my team's work - I would not have lived it down having had one at home! I didn't bother with any treatment - just took the morning off work. Thumb was painful for a few days but it healed up ok.

Our cutlery now goes in the dishwasher blade down

John

 

[marinyork]

Customer: ******* ****. ******** ******. ******* KIDS. (inaudible) ******* ****
Supervisor (smiles): Come this way madam. Can you re-open?
Me: Yes, you can even send the lady that swore at me down, although perhaps not first in the queue.
a minute later...
Customer: I want a wine box.
Me: I would think it likely there are any in the back (knowing there aren't), but we can go and look in the back for you. It might be a while.
Customer: I already asked someone that worked on that department and there aren't any.
Me: So unfortunately the answer is no.
Customer: but I want one
Me looks at supervisor (who seems to shrug)
supervisor: here's a wine carrier, we normally charge for them but you can have it for free.
...
Me: bye now, thanks very much, don't forget your wine carrier next time.
customer (being more careful): grunt mutter grunt.

 

[subaqua]

Doctor- I think youi have labyrinthitis
me Oh, an inner ear infection then.
Doc- you are not to drive
Me- can i still cycle, as i don't feel dizzy when i cycle
doc NO
Me oh
wifey i told you you wouldn't be allowed to ride.


bumholes