Give me some dialogue from your day

[threebikesmcginty]

Mrs McGinty: She's frightened of you

Me: Hmph, dumpy little cow

Mrs McGinty: that's mature, she's only 4

 

[subaqua]

admiral insurance- you have to take back your car incomplete and unrepaired as we can't get a body panel for 3 weeks.
me - is this the same 3 weeks you said it would take 6 weeks ago? what happens when the panel isn't going to arrive .
Admiral we will give you the value of the panel and fitting
me so that nmeans you cant repair my car and i will be out of pocket.
Admiral insurance- we don't care its not our problem.

 

[jayonabike]

My Sons mate - Why is your bike so light?
Me - Because it's made out of the same stuff as Formula 1 racing cars.
My Sons mate - Wow!

Instant coolness factor 10

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Fella at work - 'I don't mind giving cyclists wide clearance when i go past them, but I do object to them overtaking me when I'm stuck in traffic, especially if that means I have to overtake them again. I don't give them clearance if they do that too many times.'

Me - '...'

 

[compo]

Talking to myself.

"How much longer does this 'kin road go upwards"

 

[TVC]

Me at 10.00 this morning, stood in the front garden with hedge trimmer in hand.

Our hero surveys the neighbours upstairs windows and notes the number of closed curtains.

"For those still in bed with hangovers, welcome to Sunday morning"

BBrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZzzzzZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gbb]

Yesterday actually, but in the exchange bureau getting some travellers cheques...
I should explain, we have a system (its not rocket science) that suits us. Buy travellers cheques, split them between the two of us..if any get lost, the other had their hands on some money, we havnt lost the lot.
So you ALWAYS expect them to try to foist a credit card type thing on you.
I dont want one. It slightly increases the problems if you lose it. Lots of places ive been don't take it. I want proper cheques.
So we're at the counter, fixed a rate and the girl trys to foist a card on us...
'All our customers are finding this is the future '...she said brightly.

'What she means is, this is the future that Amex want ' ....i said to the wife.

The girl looked a little deflated for a second, then smiled and got us our cheques.

 

[gbb]

Barbeque with friends, she's made some potato salad. I'm only used to the supermarket stuff, this stuff is really nice...
'Whats in your potato salad Linda?'
'POTATOES' three of them piped up together .

Well, the drink was already flowing, i shoulda expected it

 

[Arch]

Not from my day, but reported by a colleague last week, on a train to Devon. The seat reservation system had failed, except for one seat, occupied by a lady sitting near my colleague. When the guard came along he overheard the following:

Woman: Am I ok to sit here still, if it's the only seat resevation working? It is my seat...
Guard: Indeed. There are only two things working on this train. Your seat, and me.
Woman: What about the driver?
Guard: Oh, he's asleep. All the trains are remote controlled by a guy in Birmingham with a giant train set....


Later on, he announced that he was putting the kettle on!

 

[gbb]

Hoping i havnt posted this a couple weeks ago, but just remembered...
Not so much dialogue, but...
Stood in the workshops, there's a track nearby that vehicles use and the odd dogwalker...and the even odder jogger.
So we're stood there chatting and suddenly there's a drawn out growl...'CU'MONNNNNN'

we looked at each other, looked outside, and there's a jogger running along the track, looking at his watch, shouting at himself, obviously spurring himself on.
Much more angry with himself and i think he'd start self flagelating,

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Later on, he announced that he was putting the kettle on!

Reminds me of the Tube driver who was disciplined for using his exceptionally low baritone voice for informing passengers the next stop was hellllllllllllllll.

 

[fimm]

Me (on the phone to my sister): ... so you'll read that email I sent you and let me know if there's any problems
Sister: yes, and I might even reply to it if I can work out how to stop the text of the email I'm replying to appearing in the reply.
Me: If you hit reply, the text of the email you are replying to will appear in your reply and you write your reply above it. That's how email works...
Sister: Oh, OK.
Me: Anyway <other stuff>
Sister: <other stuff>
Me: Bye
Sister: Bye
<puts phone down>
Mr fimm (who has been sitting next to me and heard my half of the conversation): was that your sister you were talking to, or your mother?

 

[Crackle]

Cycling down the local leisure path to the caff for breakfast

Son no2: "There's a break but Froome just winds it back in slowly"
Son no1: "And the Green jersey makes a break"
Son no2: "Wiggins goes to the front to chase him down"
Son no1: "And the dog is making a break for it, heel, he's not obeying team orders. He's going for the Red jersey of most aggressive rider...."

Me: ........................................!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

[QUOTE 1935150, member: 45"]

​

"I know boxing's real, because they wear oven gloves."​

[/quote]

Might be quite fun if it was this sort of oven glove.

 

[GrasB]

Woman 1 (in a loud voice): People are looking at me all the time. I must look great today!
Woman 2 (at normal speech levels): No, they're all wondering when you're going to shut the f**k up!
Woman 1 (in even louder voice): How dare YOU say that to me!
Woman 2: Easily. Now be quiet you're disturbing everyone *glare*
Woman 1 storms off.