Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
I'm in the AA does that count?
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
My car never breaks down... it's very rational... and I spill most of it.
Glow worm
Legendary Member
- Location
- Near Newmarket
This old boy came up to me on the allotment the other day and says 'looks like your wife's patch needs a bit of attention'. Before answering with an outraged 'how dare you sir?!' I figured he was probably talking about the area of flowers Mrs G looks after but hasn't weeded for a while. At least that's what I hope he meant!
andylaw79
Über Member
- Location
- Sunny Blackpool - well nearly!
Phone rings at work about an hour ago.
Me. "Hello Company Name"
Other End. "It's Jack calling from EON could I speak to Jennifer? I'm returning her call"
Me. "You've got the wrong number, there isn't anybody called Jennifer who works here."
Other End. "Yes there is, this is the number I've been given."
Me. "Well, you've been given the wrong number."
Other End. "No. this is the number I've been given for Jennifer at FSB."
Me. This is Company Name, you've got the wrong number."
Other End. "What number have I called?"
Me. "01253 123456"
Other End. "I've just dialed 01253 123457……Ahhh……Sorry about that"
Before I could call him a dickwad he put the phone down.
Me. "Hello Company Name"
Other End. "It's Jack calling from EON could I speak to Jennifer? I'm returning her call"
Me. "You've got the wrong number, there isn't anybody called Jennifer who works here."
Other End. "Yes there is, this is the number I've been given."
Me. "Well, you've been given the wrong number."
Other End. "No. this is the number I've been given for Jennifer at FSB."
Me. This is Company Name, you've got the wrong number."
Other End. "What number have I called?"
Me. "01253 123456"
Other End. "I've just dialed 01253 123457……Ahhh……Sorry about that"
Before I could call him a dickwad he put the phone down.
Browser
Guru
- Location
- Crowland, Lincolnshire, UK.
Mrs Browser: "
"
I've managed to upset/annoy her again, thank go I'm on nights or Id've had it all evening......
"
I've managed to upset/annoy her again, thank go I'm on nights or Id've had it all evening......
Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
Me - 'I've lost so much weight that none of my trousers fit properly'
Wife - 'Don't worry, I'm sure you'll put it on again'
Wife - 'Don't worry, I'm sure you'll put it on again'
Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
I'd have told him that his cucumber was wilting and that his radishes were pathetically small.
Pennine-Paul
Goth on a bike............
Lady at the Job centre.................................let's see what jobs we can find for you in your field of expertise
Me .................ok (already knowing what the answers gonna be)
Lady at the Job Centre.............................Errrr nothing I'm afraid
Me .................ok (already knowing what the answers gonna be)
Lady at the Job Centre.............................Errrr nothing I'm afraid
BigonaBianchi
Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
- Location
- Iskele TRNC & Mordor UK
Me to lady in dark corner of post office parcel collection counter (red card pick up place..you know..)
"Oh ...I kept buzzing as I didn't think there was anybody here"
Her
"There isn't, I'm on lunch"
"Oh ...I kept buzzing as I didn't think there was anybody here"
Her
"There isn't, I'm on lunch"
cookiemonster
Squire
- Location
- Hong Kong
Customer to me - Does the Vegetarian Stew have beef in it?
Me - Didn't get a chance to respond as my boss stepped in just as my mouth began to move.
Me - Didn't get a chance to respond as my boss stepped in just as my mouth began to move.
edindave
Über Member
- Location
- Auld Reeker
Manager: has anyone got a stamp?
<several folk fumble in wallets/purses>
Colleague: There you go.
Manager: Great thanks, how much is that I owe you - 30p?
Chorus of everyone within earshot: Where the f^&* have you been hibernating?
Yes, it was a first class stamp.
<several folk fumble in wallets/purses>
Colleague: There you go.
Manager: Great thanks, how much is that I owe you - 30p?
Chorus of everyone within earshot: Where the f^&* have you been hibernating?
Yes, it was a first class stamp.
BigonaBianchi
Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
- Location
- Iskele TRNC & Mordor UK
Bass player " so it looks like we'll need a new guitarist for the band then?"
Me "yep"
Me "yep"
Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
Shall we tune to C? B? How about B with a drop A?
\m/
\m/
Archie_tect
De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
- Location
- Northumberland
Life doesn't get more exciting than this.
MossCommuter
Guru
- Location
- Salford
Tesco: "Hello, welcome to Tesco Direct... Can I take a catalogue number please"
Me: "Oh, err, one sec... catalogue number, aha, yes, it's 211-4032"
Tesco: "Thank you sir, that's a Zanussi ZKG7145 Washer Dryer at £429"
Me: "Yes, yes it is"
Tesco: "Thank you sir, is there anything else you would like to order?"
Me: "Oh, I don't want to order it, I am trying to order it online but I can't see how to add the disposal option for the old machine"
Tesco: "The pop-up box sir, when you go to checkout, will offer you that option"
Me: "There is no pop up box"
Tesco: "The pop up box will appear when you click checkout sir"
Me: "OK, let me do it while you listen..."
...
Tesco: "Oh, you got that far without a pop up box sir?"
Me: "Yes, yes I did "
Tesco: "One moment sir"... "Yes, sir, there is no pop up box but if you order it from me I can add the option here"
Me: "Oh, excellent, let's do that then"
Tesco: "Can I take a catalogue number please"
Me (calmness personified, teeth clenched): "it's 211-4032"
Tesco: "That item is out of stock sir"
Me: "NO IT ISN'T!!! IT'S IN MY BASKET AT THE CHECKOUT ON YOUR WEBSITE"
Tesco: "Yes sir, but that stock comes from a different warehouse that is available only for online shopping"
Me: "OK, so I will order it and ring you back and you can add the disposal to my order"
Tesco: "I am sorry sir, we are not able to do that"
Me: "Really, oh, then I will order it from someone else, goodbye"
Tesco: "Is there anything else I can hel......."
<brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr>
Me: "Oh, err, one sec... catalogue number, aha, yes, it's 211-4032"
Tesco: "Thank you sir, that's a Zanussi ZKG7145 Washer Dryer at £429"
Me: "Yes, yes it is"
Tesco: "Thank you sir, is there anything else you would like to order?"
Me: "Oh, I don't want to order it, I am trying to order it online but I can't see how to add the disposal option for the old machine"
Tesco: "The pop-up box sir, when you go to checkout, will offer you that option"
Me: "There is no pop up box"
Tesco: "The pop up box will appear when you click checkout sir"
Me: "OK, let me do it while you listen..."
...
Tesco: "Oh, you got that far without a pop up box sir?"
Me: "Yes, yes I did "
Tesco: "One moment sir"... "Yes, sir, there is no pop up box but if you order it from me I can add the option here"
Me: "Oh, excellent, let's do that then
"Tesco: "Can I take a catalogue number please"
Me (calmness personified, teeth clenched): "it's 211-4032"
Tesco: "That item is out of stock sir"
Me: "NO IT ISN'T!!! IT'S IN MY BASKET AT THE CHECKOUT ON YOUR WEBSITE"
Tesco: "Yes sir, but that stock comes from a different warehouse that is available only for online shopping"
Me: "OK, so I will order it and ring you back and you can add the disposal to my order"
Tesco: "I am sorry sir, we are not able to do that"
Me: "Really, oh, then I will order it from someone else, goodbye"
Tesco: "Is there anything else I can hel......."
<brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr>
