Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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snorri
Legendary Member
- Location
- East coast, up a bit.
It was a quiet day, I just exchanged greetings with the only other cyclist I saw during a two hour run on the bike in the afternoon
.
.
Vantage
Carbon fibre... LMAO!!!
- Location
- Behind everyone else, Bolton
Last week while serving dinner, Erin asked me to just give her the ends of her sausages.
"Why?"
"I don't like the middle bits. They'e too meaty."
"Why?"
"I don't like the middle bits. They'e too meaty."
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
My wife..
'Payday cant come soon enough this month'
'Are we short then?'
'No, not short but there's only a couple hundred floating, less than I feel comfortable with, im goimg to transfer a bit across'
'Unusual to have to do that isn' it ?'
'Not at Xmas, presents food, mum's been in hospital etc (brought stuff she needed)...etc etc etc...and it's going to be nearly 6 weeks between paydays'
Shows how much I get involved in the family finances
'Payday cant come soon enough this month'
'Are we short then?'
'No, not short but there's only a couple hundred floating, less than I feel comfortable with, im goimg to transfer a bit across'
'Unusual to have to do that isn' it ?'
'Not at Xmas, presents food, mum's been in hospital etc (brought stuff she needed)...etc etc etc...and it's going to be nearly 6 weeks between paydays'
Shows how much I get involved in the family finances
Davos87
Guru
- Location
- North Yorkshire
Not recent but remember when my son was at primary school, picked him up at the end of the day and as you do asked him what he’d been up to etc. He said he wasn’t happy and had asked the teacher to move him from the table where James sat and when I asked why he said, “ James has a very smelly voice . “
Obviously the poor kid had a problem with halitosis but it did make me chuckle at the time.
Obviously the poor kid had a problem with halitosis but it did make me chuckle at the time.
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Yesterday my colleague was talking about her husband, she really loves him but at times really annoys her so much that she sleeps in the spare room and a couple of times has thought about divorce
Colleague: is your old man like that? A real pain in the a**e?
Me: to be honest I am probably the worse of the 2 of us.
Colleague: is your old man like that? A real pain in the a**e?
Me: to be honest I am probably the worse of the 2 of us.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
A couple from this weekend...
My wife is taking to our daughter about something at her school,
'You have to be quite assertative...blah blah blah' and carried on.
I looked up at my daughter and gave a
My daughter laughed....
'Wasn't quite sure that sounded right either ..but didn't like to say '
My wife hadn't even realised what we were chuckling about.
The tables were turned though...
Later I was talking to my sons partner..something to do with dogs accidentally breeding with offspring..
'They'd very likely have genital defects I reckon '...and instantly realised what I said.
Sons partner Instantly guffawed..
Wife..
'Haha, not so clever are ya
'
My wife is taking to our daughter about something at her school,
'You have to be quite assertative...blah blah blah' and carried on.
I looked up at my daughter and gave a
My daughter laughed....
'Wasn't quite sure that sounded right either ..but didn't like to say '
My wife hadn't even realised what we were chuckling about.
The tables were turned though...
Later I was talking to my sons partner..something to do with dogs accidentally breeding with offspring..
'They'd very likely have genital defects I reckon '...and instantly realised what I said.
Sons partner Instantly guffawed..
Wife..
'Haha, not so clever are ya
'
Houthakker
A Happy Wanderer
- Location
- Lancashire coast
Talking to my dear lady (who is directionally challenged) whilst she tried to tell me the route she had taken.
" It brought me out opposite the place, you know, where the small people live"
Me being mischevious said "You mean the dwarf camp?"
She said " No stupid, the model village!!"
" It brought me out opposite the place, you know, where the small people live"
Me being mischevious said "You mean the dwarf camp?"
She said " No stupid, the model village!!"
Biff600
Veteran
My lads girlfriend at the weekend................
'What's the offside rule ?'
'What's the offside rule ?'
swee'pea99
Squire
Bless
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
As said before, my wife and I have a great, combative, sarky way of addressing each other occasionally...
She is preparing mince, onions, mushrooms In gravy, with mashed potatoes etc.
She calls out...
'Ok, happy crack , you want shepherds pie instead ?'
Now I love shepherds pie and answer...
'Oooh, yeah, course I want shepherds pie, what kind of question is that ?'...'and never mind happy crack '
She replied...'Ok, mince and onions it is then
'
She is preparing mince, onions, mushrooms In gravy, with mashed potatoes etc.
She calls out...
'Ok, happy crack , you want shepherds pie instead ?'
Now I love shepherds pie and answer...
'Oooh, yeah, course I want shepherds pie, what kind of question is that ?'
...'and never mind happy crack 'She replied...'Ok, mince and onions it is then
'
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
At work, trying to fault find with a customer who has his services from the small comms company that I work for.
Me: let me get this right, your Broadband hasn’t worked since the connection day
Customer: that’s right girlie
Me: does your phone line work
Cx: yes lassie
Me: where is you hub?
Cx: in the Hall near t’main socket
Me: can you tell me what colour light is showing on it
Cx: I can’t tell
Me: why is that?
Cx: it’s still in the box
Me: let me get this right, your Broadband hasn’t worked since the connection day
Customer: that’s right girlie
Me: does your phone line work
Cx: yes lassie
Me: where is you hub?
Cx: in the Hall near t’main socket
Me: can you tell me what colour light is showing on it
Cx: I can’t tell
Me: why is that?
Cx: it’s still in the box
Biff600
Veteran
Referee, you're a f*****g w****r !!!!
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
"Daddy, can you play motorhead by motorhead?"
I was all choked up, so proud.
I was all choked up, so proud.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
'Ooh, that looks painful ' i said to the old fella as he shuffled toward the till, he was obviously seriously struggling.. We exchanged a few words, no biggie.
But, a few minutes beforehand, I'd have happily berated him for parking his car very poorly at the petrol pump, leaving me (or anyone else) having to squeeze out of their car...fookin idiot I thought. Then you realise why he did, simply to get out his car...followed by an instant mellowing of my attitude.
But, a few minutes beforehand, I'd have happily berated him for parking his car very poorly at the petrol pump, leaving me (or anyone else) having to squeeze out of their car...fookin idiot I thought. Then you realise why he did, simply to get out his car...followed by an instant mellowing of my attitude.
