Give me some dialogue from your day

[NorthernDave]

In a coffee shop:

Customer: Have you got any sweetener?
Barista: Sorry?
C: Any sweetener - Sweetex or Canderel, something like that?
B: What's that?
C: Artificial sweeteners for my coffee - like sugar but not sugar.
B: Oh, the sugar is over there
C: Yes I know but I can't have sugar because I'm a diabetic
B: Oh sorry - we've got brown sugar as well, is that OK?
C: No not really, don't worry about it
B: What about a shot of syrup instead? The caramel one is really nice
C: No, sorry that's still sugar.
B: Is it? Really? What about the vanilla one?

 

[Ratchet Cat]

Save us from idiots. It might be better to carry some sweeteners with you.

 

[Lullabelle]

One of the guys at our other branch was missing for half a day last week so I had to ask for some paperwork to cover his absence. His manager 'M' called me to explain

M: erm, he erm had a erm man personal problem, he was swollen and sore so I told him to get to the hospital straight away, no idea how it happened, don't know if it happened here or if it is something to do with his private life and I do not wan't to ask

Me: okaay..we can leave this with HR

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

There was one of those skip lorry safety things at the station tonight, you know, where they lay out a mat in front of the lorry on the shape of an ASL and tell you to keep out of it?

I'm pushing my bike past the obstruction of fools on the pavement dressed in Hi Viz (including one dressed up like one of the Banana Splits) minding my own business when one of them waves a reflective piece of tat at me and says

'Would you like a snapband? So we can see you?'

I replied that I was fine thanks, seeing as I had lights, reflectors and all manner of shiny bits on my bike. Had I not been trying to get the next train I would have discussed it further but I fear I would have been wasting everyone's time. I've now got ten extra minutes in the pub instead which is much more useful.

Thanks for listening. Rant over.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

There was one of those skip lorry safety things at the station tonight, you know, where they lay out a mat in front of the lorry on the shape of an ASL and tell you to keep out of it?

I'm pushing my bike past the obstruction of fools on the pavement dressed in Hi Viz (including one dressed up like one of the Banana Splits) minding my own business when one of them waves a reflective piece of tat at me and says

'Would you like a snapband? So we can see you?'

I replied that I was fine thanks, seeing as I had lights, reflectors and all manner of shiny bits on my bike. Had I not been trying to get the next train I would have discussed it further but I fear I would have been wasting everyone's time. I've now got ten extra minutes in the pub instead which is much more useful.

Thanks for listening. Rant over.

They should have gone to specsavers

 

[gbb]

Me...as i walked back into the workshop..
'Its been snowing '
Marek (Polish)...
'For 5 seconds maybe' ...

We took it in turns...
'Schools closed'
'Roads at standstill'
Trains cancelled'
'Pipes burst'

'Yeah, proper English weather ', everything stopped'

 

[Threevok]

I've tried to open the file with the password you stated in the instruction - but "TBC" doesn't seem to work

 

[NorthernDave]

Speaking to a supplier in Essex on the phone this afternoon:

Him: It's freezing here today and it's been snowing
Me: Yeah, I thought about putting a coat on this morning

 

[screenman]

The Bulgarian valeter at the Audi garage to me, you are nice person Mr Dentman, me why? Because every time you come in you take time to speak to us, nobody else even see's us.

I told them the truth, they brighten each and every visit with a smile.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Haddock?
Yes

 

[pjd57]

The Bulgarian valeter at the Audi garage to me, you are nice person Mr Dentman, me why? Because every time you come in you take time to speak to us, nobody else even see's us.

I told them the truth, they brighten each and every visit with a smile.

It's nice to be nice .

 

[screenman]

It's nice to be nice .

Nice people meet nice people.

 

[ColinJ]

The Bulgarian valeter at the Audi garage to me, you are nice person Mr Dentman, me why? Because every time you come in you take time to speak to us, nobody else even see's us.

I told them the truth, they brighten each and every visit with a smile.

You are doing an Obama!

 

[lazyfatgit]

Had a bit of fun in the bakers.

Me- Do you have any empire biscuits?

Shop assistant looks confused and adjusts hearing to funny accent interpretation mode .- What are you looking for?

Me - Empire biscuits.

Her - What's an empire biscuit? Maybe we have something similar?

We then had a discussion on empire biscuits and possible alternatives. Clearly they didnt make it to this part of the former empire.

 

[Fnaar]

Her: "Why not stay at mine on Saturday, after the theatre?"
Me: dribble dribble, yes please