Give me some dialogue from your day

[guitarpete247]

Driving past our local pub the other day with granddaughters in the car. The youngest, 6, told us that one of the girls who helps at her Rainbows has got a job at the pub as a servant.
The missus told her It's a waitress not a servant".
She then told us "I've been doing about Africa and they're servants".

 

[jhawk]

The missus told her It's a waitress not a servant".
She then told us "I've been doing about Africa and they're servants".

 

[guitarpete247]

I hope everyone understands that everyone in this tale are white, including the servant and there is no racist intention on the part of granddaughter about Africans being servants.

 

[gbb]

'What the blooming hell ' said I as I surveyed a machine from my past, one from a former employers, it's stripped and spread all over the floor, wires, pipes, valves all over the place in my former employers workshop.
'Yeah, the engineer stripped it to paint it'...explained a former colleague.
'That's not going back together, they might as well scrap it'

(Imagine someone Inexperienced removing your engine, stripping all, and I mean all, the parts, wires, hoses etc off it and tossing it all in a pile, that's what I was looking at.)

Former colleague continued....
'Nah, he said he knows how it goes back together'
'I had about 15 years experience of those, I've stripped them, loads of them but never like that...that's just ridiculous. I couldn't put that back together '
'He said he knows what he was doing...but he's gone now, went sick...stress apparently'
'Cr&p...he's done a runner because he's messed up big style, you might as well chuck that lot in a skip'
Another current colleague chipped in..
'That's annoyed you hasn't it '

'Absolutely scandalous, £5k to £10 K worth of machinery cream crackered , I'd be fookin volcanic if I was the boss.'

 

[perplexed]

We get a lot of idiots at work. Many folks on their hols seem to think that they are entitled to be rude to people that- in their little minds - have a menial job. I would like to see some of them do our job on a busy day. It's not highbrow but most of us have degrees. Bless and release is the only way to deal with the idiots.

I quote random bits of Homer* to people like that - scares the sh&*e out of them...





* Of Odyssey fame, not the chuffin' yellow character...

 

[Saluki]

I quote random bits of Homer* to people like that - scares the sh&*e out of them...





* Of Odyssey fame, not the chuffin' yellow character...

I might give that a go. I tend to chuck in random bits of Shakespeare or Dickens. I find that a bit of Dick the shoot goes a long way with the gobby teenagers. "So wise so young, they say do ne'er live long." (III, I)

 

[gbb]

We get a lot of idiots at work. Many folks on their hols seem to think that they are entitled to be rude to people that- in their little minds - have a menial job. I would like to see some of them do our job on a busy day. It's not highbrow but most of us have degrees. Bless and release is the only way to deal with the idiots.

This chimes in with an observation a till operator made to me the other day...I was just chatting with her and she said how rude an increasing number of people were getting, just plain ignorant or rude. It was prompted by me allowing a lady through before me, she just had couple items and as she went on her way...she didn't even say thanks. I hadn't even noticed but the till operator said that's typical now, many people just don't want to say thanks, anything. She'd had several cases of in just that day.
I often stand in a queue, watch the people getting served, there's nothing from them, no communication, no manners, chuck the money down,gettheir goods and change and walk off without any Interaction at all. I always think...jeez, you miserable bustard, put a smile on yer face fer chrissakes.

 

[gbb]

Unspoken dialogue perhaps...
I was getting my puncture outfit out to repair a puncture I got earlier. As I did so, a tea spoon clattered on the floor, having fallen out of my saddle bag.
Me...looking at my wife...
Wife...looking at me.........
Me.....

 

[MossCommuter]

Me: Blimey - Tango In The Night is 30 years old this year
Younger Colleague: What's that?
Me: Y'know - that massive hit album by Fleetwood Mac
YC: Who are they?

 

[gbb]

We shop in Asda, often talk to one of their members of staff. Spied her on the way out and as I passed I said...pointing to one of my bags...
'Look at that, chicken jalfrezi for 40p, naan bread for 20p....I'm treating my wife tonight

'Hoho , she'll be pleased ' she replied.
'Yup, I know how to treat a lady '

Actually, that was for me...Couldn't resist it though.

 

[Salad Dodger]

As it was a nice morning, we walked into town and had breakfast in a local cafe.

There was an elderly chap sitting there with a drink and a paper, and after a while, another old boy came in and sat with him. The conversation started something like this:
"Hello Bill, how are you?"
"Eh?"
"HOW ARE YOU?"
"I'm waiting for the bus."
"Where are you going?"
"Eh?"
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING? ON THE BUS...."
"Hospital. E N T"
"ABOUT YOUR EARS?"
"Yeah"

I didn't mean to listen to their conversation, but it was pretty quiet in the cafe and you sort of couldn't avoid it. One of them wanted to buy some paint. Yellow. Something like sunshine yellow. But it was called happy yellow. And he couldn't find any anywhere.
His chum remarked that maybe happiness was in short supply just at the moment.......

 

[ufkacbln]

Getting on the bus and flashed my e-ticket

Driver states...

"You know you can use your Bus Pass at this time of day!"

I am not eligible till 2024!

 

[ColinJ]

Getting on the bus and flashed my e-ticket

Driver states...

"You know you can use your Bus Pass at this time of day!"

I am not eligible till 2024!

I had the opposite problem yesterday. The pharmacist tried charging me for my prescription ... I told her that I didn't have to pay because I am over 60 and she apologised for thinking that I wasn't old enough!

 

[Rezillo]

Salesman: We only have one post 2015 example of the particular car you're after in this region and the mileage is a bit more than you specified.

Me and Mrs R: Are there any you can order in from your national network?

Salesman disappears into office to check. I watch him scrolling down a screen and jabbing a calculator. He is not doing the pretend conversation with the manager that we have seen elsewhere. A few minutes later, salesman returns.

Salesman: No, but we can offer you a new one for £500 more than your budget . I look at printout showing a figure that is 5K less than what I know is the book price of the model that is one range below that of the one we are being offered. It is also less than the s/h price of the few examples I've seen on Autotrader and we are getting the full trade-in value on our old car.

Me: Errrr... just give us a minute.

 

[Sandra6]

Man in Asda "it would be rude not to"
I was eyeing up the reduced cream cakes.
Well, if you insist. I replied and snapped up a box of chocolate eclairs.
Fast forward to daughter coming home "I'll put the ketttle on , I've got garibaldi's upstairs"
Garibaldis are a forbidden treat as Mr6 has a violent hatred for them, I don't understand, but we eat them in secret.
"ooh good, you can have one of my eclairs too"
Daughter brings in the tea and biscuits "I didn't put all the biscuits on the plate, Ididn't think you needed to eat a whole packet"
I'm still laughing!!!