Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

Me to warehouse mananger in the CI meeting...
'The good news is we've finally started your racking repairs.....the bad news is you'll end up with even worse capacity. The levels of damage are quite extraordinary, i'm supposed to be replacing 5 uprights. In the first half of the cold store, ive now found 8 damaged, 2 very very badly. If i'd ordered 3 times the original amount of uprights.....i probably still wouldnt have enough'
Manager...
...'ok, let me know the plan....'

 

[swee'pea99]

he seems to think Scandinavia is one country

He's right - Vikingland!

 

[gbb]

'Hahaha, brilliant'
We're having a clear out, the wife is sorting the box of old shoes in the coat chpboard...and hold aloft my cherished swedish air force flying gloves, lovely soft leather, lambswool lined, the very bestest gloves ive ever had for cycling in cold weather down to 0 degrees.
I lost them maybe over a year ago.....i was only thinking the other day, i gotta find some more.. they cost me £10 from a surplus store maybe 5 years ago, best money i ever spent.
Well bad happy as my son used to say...

 

[Tin Pot]

<knocking on front door>
<I open door>
"Hello!"
"Hello."
"Do you like good food?!"
<pause>
"...Why?"
"You know, poultry, fish-"
"No thanks."
<I close door>

 

[welsh dragon]

Mr WD. "Did you see that prescilla presley on the one show last night ? She's had so much cosmetic surgery, that she couldn't move her face at all."

Me. " I know, but I suppose it takes all sorts and its her business, her money"

Mr WD " I suppose im lucky to have such a naturally wonderful visage"

Me. " you mean you have a face that looks like a horses arse"

 

[Cubist]

Cubester and I have an ongoing standing joke about people wearing camouflage. Examples are the time we were driving back from Keighley Rugby club and drove past a pub car park. A guy on a big transalp style bike was sitting on his bike in the car park dressed head to toe in snow cammo.
Me " What the hell has he come dressed as?"
Cubester "Who?"
Me "The guy on the bi....ah, bollocks, you got me again!"

We were watching some TV show about a guy climbing a ridge in the Alaskan mountains. He was wearing "Realtree" cammo boots.
Me " I'm amazed he can walk in that snow barefoot."
Cubester " He's got boots on.....ah, knickers, not again!"

This afternoon in a gunshop, Cubester points to the corner of the main display and says " Hey, love that Realtree gun case."
Me "What gun case?"
Shop owner. " I've got another five of those somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can find them. "
Shop Owner's long suffering partner. " You're all going to be thrown out and barred if I hear another of your stupid cammo jokes. "

 

[Profpointy]

Cubester and I have an ongoing standing joke about people wearing camouflage. Examples are the time we were driving back from Keighley Rugby club and drove past a pub car park. A guy on a big transalp style bike was sitting on his bike in the car park dressed head to toe in snow cammo.
Me " What the hell has he come dressed as?"
Cubester "Who?"
Me "The guy on the bi....ah, bollocks, you got me again!"

We were watching some TV show about a guy climbing a ridge in the Alaskan mountains. He was wearing "Realtree" cammo boots.
Me " I'm amazed he can walk in that snow barefoot."
Cubester " He's got boots on.....ah, knickers, not again!"

This afternoon in a gunshop, Cubester points to the corner of the main display and says " Hey, love that Realtree gun case."
Me "What gun case?"
Shop owner. " I've got another five of those somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can find them. "
Shop Owner's long suffering partner. " You're all going to be thrown out and barred if I hear another of your stupid cammo jokes. "

On a related note, I've seen quite a few camouflage pattern motorcycle jackets - which seems a little on the silly side to say the least.
Even plain black doesn't break up the shape of the rider as much as cammo. .

 

[welsh dragon]

Same here. Mr WD has a camo rain proof jacket. When he wears it to feed the chickens when its raining he always comes back in and says

"Bet you didn't see me walking back down the field because I was in camo. Im like a ninja. Stealthy, Invisible.".

Me. "I bloody wish".

 

[ufkacbln]

On a related note, I've seen quite a few camouflage pattern motorcycle jackets - which seems a little on the silly side to say the least.
Even plain black doesn't break up the shape of the rider as much as cammo. .

Slightly OT.... but if Camouflage is such an issue then why are the accident rates in military towns not higher?

 

[ufkacbln]

In the pub ysterday and a group sat across the way woith a couple of kids

Parent 1 - Are you going out tonight?
PArent 2 - Sorry
PArent 1 - You know - T-R-I-C-K

Small child - Just say "Trick or Treat" - I can spell you know

 

[Lullabelle]

On Tuesday I went to see the ENT doc for a routine check up, a new guy, never seen him before. He looked in my mouth

Doc: have you had your tonsils taken out or anything done to them?
Me: never been touched, why?
Doc: they are a bit small
Me: should I be worried?
Doc: hmm.... not really.......
Me:

 

[Asa Post]

Yesterday's IM conversation with son:
Son: I'm going to knit a cat toy.
[An hour later]
Son: I've finished the toy.
Me: Wow, that was quick.
Son: It's a simple pattern. Just a tube with a face at one end.
[Short pause]
Son: But, then again, aren't we all?

 

[GrumpyGregry]

I like your socks
Thank you
Where did you buy them?
Berlin
So they're German socks?
No, they are British socks but I bought them in Berlin
Jebus, you went to Berlin to buy socks?

 

[gavgav]

I became a godfather today, at my niece's baptism.

Vicar - "we will end today's service with a song, When The Saints go Marching In, and I would like, those who are able, to do a conga through the church!! Godparents are mandatory and must do it"

Me -

A very proud day for me though

 

[perplexed]

Overheard in a café on Saturday from a rotund lady at the next table. Eating a not insubstantial quantity of food...

Rotund lady - 'I can't wait for January...'
Friend of RL - 'Why?'
RL - 'I can stop eating chips...'