Give me some dialogue from your day

[Lullabelle]

TVC: I have just smeared butter on my crotch

 

[coffeejo]

TVC: I have just smeared butter on my crotch

And it's not even after the watershed.

 

[ufkacbln]

I have been edificated!

On the Christiania with bright blue and pink filing boxes in the front, so hardly invisible

Clearly signal to turn right and car shoots across the junction in front of me into driveway

Stopped and politely asked if he had not seen me.

"You were turning right"

"Yep, so you saw the signal and still pulled out in front of me?"

"You signalled to turn right"

"My point.. you saw the signal and still puled out in front of me! The junction has a clear give way marking"

Then the clincher....

"Traffic turning right has to give way at the junction to let traffic out!!!!!!!

The Give Way only applies to turning left!!!"

We will see what the company says about this......

 

[ColinJ]

(Internal dialogue)

ColinJ: Have you been for a bike ride today?

ColinJ: No. I looked out of the window earlier and it was raining.

ColinJ: Is it still raining?

ColinJ: No, the sun is shining.

ColinJ: So, are you going to go out now?

ColinJ: Er, I suppose so ...

ColinJ: Well stop being such a lazy b*st*rd. CycleChat will somehow survive without you. Go and do it now so you stand some chance of getting back before dark!

ColinJ: I hear and obey, master!

(Exit, stage left ...)

(Another internal dialogue)

ColinJ: Have you been for a bike ride today?

ColinJ: No. I forgot.

ColinJ: Is it raining now?

ColinJ: No, but it is disappointingly grey out there.

ColinJ: Excuses, excuses - are you going to go out now?

ColinJ: Er ...

ColinJ: Stop being such a lazy b*st*rd. CycleChat will somehow survive without you. Go and do it now so you stand some chance of getting back before dark!

ColinJ: No, I really can't be a^sed - I'll do some extra miles in the sunshine tomorrow to make up for it!

(Remains seated, and continues with forlorn 'attempt to browse entire Internet' project ...)

 

[ColinJ]

TVC: I have just smeared butter on my crotch

Last Tango in the Midlands?

 

[Lullabelle]

Last Tango in the Midlands?

naughty

 

[Speicher]

A. N. Other: I will have to just say "No" to them.
Me: Yes.. er...No....yes say no...
A. N. Other

 

[Houthakker]

Backstory - here in Lancashire we are having to boil our drinking water due to a contamination. Phone rings in work...

SWMBO - On you way home can you pick up some more bottled water.
Me - More already? - we only got some on Saturday
SWMBO - I've only got two big bottles left and I'll need one of those for the bird bath.
Me - You are putting bottled water in the bird bath?
SWMBO - Yes, don't want them drinking the dirty water.........

 

[Eagone]

Went to the Velodrome in Derby yesterday to watch the Revolution series.

Had a very bored 8 year old (Until Brad and Cav appeared) with me.

Sitting there watching the racing, he pipes up.

"Dad"
Yes mate!
"That guy at the front on the motorbike, isn't that Cheating?"
​

...........

 

[Moon bunny]

Overheard in a supermarket:
Mother to child: "I have told you at least ten times, It's fewer than when you can count the things, less than when you can weigh or measure it..."

 

[gbb]

The other day, finished work, home, tea was sausage and mash and beans...
For some reason I was really looking forward to it...i do like simple plain food as much as more exotic stuff.
The wife placed it on the table...i looked mock shocked at her and said...
'You didnt make me a volcano !!!!'

As kids, we'd get our forks and make a volcano of the mash, carefully forming the mash upwards, place a sausage in the top then brown sauce became the lava...

'Go see your mum if you want a volcano ' retorted the wife....

Hehehe...

 

[Asa Post]

As kids, we'd get our forks and make a volcano of the mash, carefully forming the mash upwards, place a sausage in the top then brown sauce became the lava...

Did you also have a mashed potato nest?
Potato formed into a hollow circle. Fill up with gravy. Sliced carrot put round the edge.
Alternate a forkful of potato with a piece of carrot dunked in the gravy. Eat the potato from the middle outwards, and try to eat all the carrots without breaching the walls so the gravy ran out.

 

[gbb]

Did you also have a mashed potato nest?
Potato formed into a hollow circle. Fill up with gravy. Sliced carrot put round the edge.
Alternate a forkful of potato with a piece of carrot dunked in the gravy. Eat the potato from the middle outwards, and try to eat all the carrots without breaching the walls so the gravy ran out.

No...but I laughed while I read the description...

 

[Lullabelle]

TVC: Enterprise have not delivered the van
ME: If it hasn't been delivered to work then I will call them

 

[Lullabelle]

TVC: Enterprise have not delivered the van
ME: If it hasn't been delivered to work then I will call them

The morons delivered it to our house at 8am this morning