Give me some dialogue from your day

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U

ufkacbln

Guest
Phone rings....

Apparently the guy on the phone works for an insurance company and I have a considerable sum in compensation awaiting me form an accident in the last couple of years!

Me: Which accident was it?
Caller: I don't have precise details , but it was in the last couple of years , and a considerable amoiunt.
Me: Well i have had several ... was it the one in February?
Caller: Probably
Me: Oh good because it cost me quite a bit.
Caller: Well we can certainly help you make a claim
Me: Wonderful, because the Police told me I wasn't insured when they arrested me, and had no licence
Caller: you weren't insured?
Me No, and there was also the problem that I was over the drink drive limit and out of my head on crack cocaine. If I can get some money it would help pay off the dealer
Caller: Oh, maybe we can't help after all

Why did they hang up?
 
subaqua

subaqua

What’s the point
Location
Leytonstone
Cunobelin said:
Phone rings....

Apparently the guy on the phone works for an insurance company and I have a considerable sum in compensation awaiting me form an accident in the last couple of years!

Me: Which accident was it?
Caller: I don't have precise details , but it was in the last couple of years , and a considerable amoiunt.
Me: Well i have had several ... was it the one in February?
Caller: Probably
Me: Oh good because it cost me quite a bit.
Caller: Well we can certainly help you make a claim
Me: Wonderful, because the Police told me I wasn't insured when they arrested me, and had no licence
Caller: you weren't insured?
Me No, and there was also the problem that I was over the drink drive limit and out of my head on crack cocaine. If I can get some money it would help pay off the dealer
Caller: Oh, maybe we can't help after all

Why did they hang up?
Click to expand...
done similar. Asked how much you could get for memory loss, as I couldn't recall an accident in the last 10 years.
 
gbb

gbb

Squire
Location
Peterborough
Some recent political discussions...
Guy at work, nice chap but a bit...errr...different...
'Do you think the conservatories will get back in ?'
:laugh:

My young colleague said to me today..
'You voting tonight ?'
'I am' I replied.
'Who you gonna vote for ?'
I saw my manager look slightly sideways at him :huh:
I replied honestly , i'm not secretive and told him why....I hesitated a moment and said...
'By the way...you'd best not ask people that question, you're likely to be told...that's my frikkin business so feck off:angry:'
'Oh, I didn't realise :blush:'
I said...'its a bit like asking someone how much they earn'
'Oh....'

Someone said to me...
'If you vote UKIP or LibDems...you're really voting for the Conservatives'
'No your fecking not, your voting who you vote for'
'Yebbut...it said in blah blah'
'Crap, you gotta ask yourself why they're saying that...its because they WANT you to vote Labour or they're Labour sympathisers...you should be quite capable of making your own mind up, don't listen to other people'

And finally...
someone said to me...
'If you don't vote, the Tories get your vote anyway'
:wacko: 'What !!!, crap, if you don't vote, no-one gets your vote'
'They do, the Tories get it'
'Bollix, I never heard such crap' :angry::ohmy::laugh:
 
Lullabelle

Lullabelle

Banana
Location
Midlands UK
This morning our boss was complaining because there are no places close by to get a decent cup of coffee, he likes rocket fuel

Boss: I prefer Costa, Starbucks and Mcdonalds coffee is horrible, of course the best coffee I have had here was made by this fine lady here
Me: ok I get the message, I put the coffee pot on for him :laugh:
Apparently I make a damn good cup of coffee :rolleyes:
 
Katherine

Katherine

Guru
Moderator
Location
Manchester
In a year 2 class.(age 7) They have learnt a lot of facts about nocturnal animals and were planning a piece of writing today.
Two boys who don't always follow everything in the way you'd expect -

Boy1: (to me) Are foxes female?
Boy 2: (enthusiastically buts in before I could respond) Yes, and some of them even get married!
Me: Oh! Let's write a sentence about what foxes eat...
 
gbb

gbb

Squire
Location
Peterborough
Our dog Jake has diahorrea quite bad , a bit concerned he may have eaten something while out walking so we've all been watching him plus took him to the vets last night.
A text I received today..gotta love predictive text eh ?
'Hi baby, Andy (our son) said Janes poo is ok'
I immediately texted back..
'Who's Jane and why is Andy looking at her poo ?' :eek::rofl:

Talking to my colleague, we often wind each other up, quips and remarks come thick and fast sometimes...
We were talking about pets that had died... he said
' One of ours died in my dads hands :sad:'
I quickly quipped...
'What happened ?...did he throttle the poor thing ?' :laugh::laugh:
Colleague burst out laughing...:rofl:
'Sorry bud, that was a bit close to the mark' I half apologised.:shy:
'No no, it was a good one ^_^'


And another door bites the dust :angry:
Fork lift driver comes into the workshop..
':shy: errr, the door is damaged'
'Ok, no problem, we'll have a look'

He's tried to beat a closing roller shutter door, about 10ft wide and maybe 15 ft high....:headshake:and took out the bottom 4ft. Half an hour later, it looks ten times worse as we unsuccessfully tried to get it back into its runners, its fooked.
Circa 6 months ago the company spent £1000 getting it repaired. Circa 5 weeks ago, they spent £1500 getting it repaired again. It'll probably cost as much this time.
If you pay peanuts and employ drivers with dubious foreign F/L licences...you get monkeys.
The damage these guys are causing is getting crazy, its like a bloody circus, there's something quite different about this last lot of agency workers, bloomin ridiculous.
 
ColinJ

ColinJ

Puzzle game procrastinator!
Location
Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
ColinJ said:
Stepdaughter: Don't forget my graduation!

Colin: I have a memory like a sieve so I think that I would forget ...

Stepdaughter: Oh ...

Colin: ... So I have already written it in my diary, and added a reminder the week before!

Colin: And on my calendar ...

Colin: And I have made sure that I am not organising any CycleChat forum rides over that long weekend!

Stepdaughter: Yay!

Colin: Your mum has two degrees and I have one, so you will not be the first in the family to graduate, but you will be the first one to actually bother to go to their graduation!

Both: Ha ha ha!
Click to expand...
It is her big day today! We are in Harrogate for her graduation ceremony. Lots of proud parents gathering and nervous graduates each wearing their rented cap and gown.
 
MossCommuter

MossCommuter

Guru
Location
Salford
Him : "My favourite of their's is the cuckoo one"
Her: "I don't think I know that one"
Him: "I'm sure you do, y'know it sort of goes do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, de-de-de-de-der-de-de. o-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, I'm a cuckoo"
Her : :dry:
Him: "C'mooooon.... do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, de-de-de-de-der-de-de. o-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, cuckoo"
Her: :eek:
Him: "You MUST know it; do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, de-de-de-de-der-de-de. o-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, you're a cuckoo"
Her: "No, I don't think I have heard that one before"
Him: "do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, de-de-de-de-der-de-de. o-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, do-do-doo-d-do, cuckoo"
 
stephec

stephec

Squire
Location
Bolton
I've been for a blood test at 11:40 this morning.

Nurse: when was the last time you had anything to eat?
Me: a pint of Guinness at 23:00 last night.

I think her laugh was a bit forced. :smile:
 
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