Give me some dialogue from your day

[jhawk]

The dogs were "fighting" earlier, as they do. Really it's just Dave trying to take a bite out of Akaya, but because he's got this huge mane, he just gets dog hair in his face. Rather hilarious.

Me: "Dave, mate.You're not intimidating, you're not scary, and you aren't going to win."

Dave: "Rarrrrrr!" As he tries again to get Akaya's neck.

Me: "Stupid ruddy animal..." *Shakes head.*

 

[Tin Pot]

Overheard today in the office, one side of a dialogue on the phone:

"Roger, I've always thought of you as he most anal person I know. And that's a really good characteristic to have, I really appreciate that in you."

 

[marknotgeorge]

Me: You called me yesterday evening.
Them: It's about your car finance application. Can you confirm your date of birth & first line of your address?
Me: blah blah...
Them: Okay, are you happy for us to send the money to the dealer?
Me: Errr, yes?
Them: I'll get that done. Thanks for your call.

I think I'm getting a new car tomorrow...

 

[gbb]

Me , in a bit of a fit of pique to fellow car occupants...
'Oh fer chrissakes, is THAT IT !!!!!!, THAT'S the reason we've been stuck in Boston for 1 hour 15 minutes in virtually static traffic..for THAT '

One road repair van, a few cones, an approach to a roundabout coned, for some repairs that looked about 10 ft long....caused over an hour of delays for those approaching From 5 miles away...and the jam must have increased to 10 to 15 miles as time went on.

I know we need our roads repaired, but that is pathetic? I swear there must have been a jam all the way from Boston back to Spalding

 

[gbb]

In Skegness...
'Mum.....fer chrissakes, dont open your purse like that in public'
'Ooh I know, I keep forgetting '
I look at the wife...
She looks at me...
Mums 84, with it, but does Insist on leaving her handbag open on her arm, or rifling through a wide open purse with a shed load of notes on full view In a crowded street.

 

[Scoosh]

^ ^ ^ That's what you are there for !

 

[Hyslop]

Notso much dialogue(indeed this may well be the wrong thread).Passing along a street today,I noticed one of those "Scarab"cleaning vehicles parked on a driveway.On the side,where you might expect the company or authority logo,it bore a phone number and the words "One Call Does Sod All".Made me giggle and I just assumed it was a local authority vehicle in plain(or honest ) clothes!

 

[swee'pea99]

(Overheard earlier....)

Daughter's friend: What are horses like in New Zealand? Are they big or small?
Daughter: They're horse-sized.

 

[gbb]

Me to colleague, who is crouched, concentrating on the bubble of a spirit level he's got on a steel workbench he's fabricating. He's placing it on one side, the the other, studiously looking, concentrating....
me...'whatcha doing ?'
'Making sure this table is level'
''Is the floor level ?'
'Dunno '
'Then you're wasting your time seeing if the table's level'

And wait till I see him tomorrow
Ive walked in this morning after a week off...and his lovely big (supposedly level) steel workbench is in a slightly different place in the workshop...with two legs shimmed up with slips of steel

 

[vernon]

Tony Woodrup: "Hi Vernon. Your just in time to see out latest builds. Interested?"
Me: "Yes!!! I want to see the stealth bike that you've built."
Tony Woodrup: "Come this way. No photographs mind you. It's being premiered in Bristol this weekend at Bespoked."
Me: "I promise."
Tony Woodrup: "Follow me."

exits shops and makes for the stairs to the workshop followed by me

Upstairs in the workshop and catching sight of the stealth bike

Me: "Wow! It looks fantastic!!"
Tony Woodrup: "I'll just lift it out for you to get a closer look"
Me: "It's really light. Di2 I see. Carbon frame?"

Kevin Sayles, the frame builder appears

Kevin Sayles: "No, it's Columbus profiled tubing. It's light isn't it. Steel framed bikes don't have to
be heavy.
Me, drooling: "Its fantastic!"
Tony Woodrup: "Do you fancy going to bespoke. I'll give you a ticket?
Me: "Yes I want to go! Thanks but I need to check when I get home"
Tony Woodrup: "That's fine. I'll put a ticket to one side. Let me know. You've got my number haven't you?"
Me" "I'll text you tonight."

 

[Levo-Lon]

Fixed the lads lawnmower and used it to cut my lawn..nice

 

[gbb]

My manager to me...
'Blah blah (a very senior manager) wants us to email him a copy of our emergency light tests'.
Its not been done in house before, we just relied on a contractor to do it...at considerable cost...however, this senior manager has been requesting we do it inhouse for some time. My manager thinks hes just dropped a clanger, hes only asked me to take it on..but i knew it was coming.
My reply to my bemused manager..
'Just as well i did it this weekend then, while it was quiet, i'll email him the copy '

My manager...

52 test points, around 65 emergency lights and doesnt include a large secion of the factory. Another bloomin job no-one else wants...stuck with it now.

 

[ColinJ]

Stepdaughter: Don't forget my graduation!

Colin: I have a memory like a sieve so I think that I would forget ...

Stepdaughter: Oh ...

Colin: ... So I have already written it in my diary, and added a reminder the week before!

Colin: And on my calendar ...

Colin: And I have made sure that I am not organising any CycleChat forum rides over that long weekend!

Stepdaughter: Yay!

Colin: Your mum has two degrees and I have one, so you will not be the first in the family to graduate, but you will be the first one to actually bother to go to their graduation!

Both: Ha ha ha!

 

[fimm]

There's a tap at the front door. I open it.
Pizza Delivery Man: Is this for you?
Me (puzzled): No
P.D.M. It is very confusing, that (pointing) is flat 14 and this (next door) is flat 15 and you are not 16?
(We are flat 16)
Me: Let me see the address (thinking; I bet he's...)
P.D.M. Oh! It is for X Place and this is X Street.
Me: Yep.
P.D.M sorry to bother you

Me, going back into the flat, to my boyfriend: Pizza delivery man in the wrong place. I should have just told him it was for us!
Boyfriend: I didn't realise you had gone to the front door, I thought you were talking to yourself...

 

[subaqua]

My manager to me...
'Blah blah (a very senior manager) wants us to email him a copy of our emergency light tests'.
Its not been done in house before, we just relied on a contractor to do it...at considerable cost...however, this senior manager has been requesting we do it inhouse for some time. My manager thinks hes just dropped a clanger, hes only asked me to take it on..but i knew it was coming.
My reply to my bemused manager..
'Just as well i did it this weekend then, while it was quiet, i'll email him the copy '

My manager...

52 test points, around 65 emergency lights and doesnt include a large secion of the factory. Another bloomin job no-one else wants...stuck with it now.

not trying to tell you to suck eggs , but have a good read of BS5266 part 1 and the notes on Routine inspections and tests which are specified in BS EN 50172:2004, part 7.2.

there are several right ways to do it but only a few easy right ways.