Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

The first, not so much a conversation, just overheard a mum strutting into a shop, her daughter trying to keep up...
Mum...
'No you're not having a bra.....you're 7 years old'
Me...

Later, the wife and I are discussing something, she says..
'....blah blah, she'd beat him hand over foot'
Me..
'Fist'
Wife..
'What ?'
'Its fist, not foot'
Wife, trying not to be outdone or trying to stay one up says...
'You could say hand over mouth'
Me...
You could, but it'd be wrong too'

 

[Ganymede]

Indeed. Dementia is a horrible condition.

It was very similar with my dad towards the end, and coincidentally he lived to just beyond his 61st wedding anniversary.

I visited him shortly before he died and he remembered who I was, but he was glaring at my niece and nephew who were playing at the end of his hospital bed. He asked who they were and was upset when I told him that they were his 2 youngest grandchildren ...

The most distressing thing of all was when I said goodbye to him at noon on a very sunny day before rushing off to catch my train back to Yorkshire. He pleaded with me not to go "in the middle of the night". That was the last time I saw him.

My thoughts are with you, Ganymede.

Thank you Colin. Sorry to hear about your Dad too. I'm tearing up now...

 

[ColinJ]

So exactly how many burglars do the gardening and cooking in a house they break into?

My friend's burglar made himself a midnight feast!

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

My friend's burglar made himself a midnight feast!

this one does the gardening as well... !

 

[stephec]

We've just been to a vintage fair at Manchester University, and my 12 year old girl decides she doesn't like any of the clothes there.

"All these clothes are dead old," she says.

 

[jhawk]

I'm paying a visit to an old teacher, whose also a friend of mine. He notices my fledgling beard...

"What's all that?"

"Well, I figured I'd get a head start on next year's Decembeard, by starting this year."

""

 

[jhawk]

[QUOTE 3360575, member: 45"]"It's 2014. Why can't I get a phone with 500% battery life?"[/QUOTE]

I know, right?! #thestruggleisreal.

 

[GrasB]

Person 1: I hate to say this but you're special! The special when you don't understand the definition of special that you are!
Person 2: That doesn't make sense!
Me:

 

[brand]

To daughters: I have sent you an email of what I want and don't want for Christmas. Just a little something to keep me warm NO not a coat. The same I asked you for last year and the year before.

Them NO
I will give you the grid reference again

Them NO

Just plain selfish. Bet it is a coat, again!

 

[Scoosh]

Txt Msg from Scoosh jnr:
- Can you skype or phone me right away ?

Skype call:
S jnr: Well, the results are IN.
Me: What did you get ?
S jnr: A 7 - which is a 2:1
Me: YAY! Well Done ! That's great !

S jnr: I now have a 2:1 BSc (Hons) in Audio Production.

 

[subaqua]

Site manager- are you not cold riding in on your bike in this weather
Me - No its warm once you get going but i did keep the coat zipped to chest level today
SM- but you are in shorts
me- I will be in shorts in January too
SM what !
Me - yeah the baggies over my legging things.
SM hur hur you wear leggings

 

[Firestorm]

Walking out of my office this evening
He (riding bso on pavement no lights) " oi watch what you are doing"
Me " says the cyclist on the pavement"
He "step into the road then and ill f*****g run you over"

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Me: this could get mucky.
OH: if you are going to get mucky, then get mucky with a towel!

He has such a sympathetic side to him

 

[jhawk]

My father is an IT technician doing off-site support for many companies... Today's salvo with a colleague about the stupidity of clients...

Dad: "OH FFS. If you don't know the difference between printing and scanning, you shouldn't even be employed!"

 

[jhawk]

In addition to Dad's frustrations with customers, he's also got a new smartphone with voice command capabilities... Better than before. All I've been hearing all bloody afternoon is:

"Okay, Google... Turn on flashlight.", "Okay, Google. Call Jack.", he sent me a text earlier without having to touch his phone...

Me: "Oh, whatever next! 'Okay, Google... Wipe my arse?"

Dad: