Give me some dialogue from your day

[perplexed]

Scene: Last year, a small town somewhere in France...

Approaching underground car-park.

Me: (Driving) You'll need to put your window down...
Wife: Why?
Me: Because we need to pick up a ticket as the machine spits it out.
Wife: (Lowers window and grabs ticket) It's a bit bloody stupid!
Me: Eh? What's stupid?
Wife: Well, it's a rubbish design.
Me: What is?
Wife: Having the machine on this side. What if you'd been here on your own?
Me: We're in France...
Wife: D'oh!

 

[coffeejo]

Me (falling off my bike and landing on the ice): Ooomph
Everyone else: Gasp
Me: Erm, there's black ice on this bit of the road

 

[MontyVeda]

actually from a couple of weeks ago, but it popped back into my head today...

30 something in the office: How can you NOT like Phil Collins?

me:

 

[ColinJ]

I'm surprised that a 30-something has even heard of Phil Collins, let alone like him!

 

[GrasB]

I'm a 30 something & there was a fair amount of Phil Collins air time on the radio when I was growing up, only 2 or 3 songs but enough.

 

[TVC]

Me: Altered Images are playing in Leamington Spa.
Mrs VC: That's Claire Grogan's band isn't it?
Me <nods excitedly and grins>
Mrs VC: Oh OK
Me: Are you interested?
Mrs VC: I don't really know them, but you are aren't you.
Me: <nods excitedly and grins>
Mrs VC: Buy the tickets then!


Result, I could be happy, I could be happy.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I'm surprised that a 30-something has even heard of Phil Collins

He was the 3rd guy on the Apollo 11 moon landing wasn't he??

 

[subaqua]

He was the 3rd guy on the Apollo 11 moon landing wasn't he??

PMSL

 

[GrasB]

Rabbit hidden in hedge: *bolts across the road causing me to jam the front brake on*
Me: Dosey stupid rabbit!
Ped: Don't call me stupid.
Me: ... whatever

 

[Night Train]

Dad: The squirrel has eaten my nuts! He bites a whole in the bottom and my nuts fall out. The birds are hungry now.
Me: Ohhh Kaaaaay, Dad.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Me (in head)in swimming pool:

25 lengths,26.....31..31....get out of the way .....43..47...move I say arse....69...favourite number....78,79,80...dont give up....85, 89...oh ffs get out of the dam way moron its a fast lane cant you read??....95,98,99,100.....ok calm down boab...

arsy woman:
did you know this is the slow lane?

Me:
erm...oopps

 

[GrumpyGregry]

An office kitchen... (the company provides free tea coffee and milk to put in them)
Her: I hope that's not our milk.
Me: Sorry?
Her: I hope that isn't our milk. We don't buy milk for people to put on their cereal.
Me: (picking up my milk carton) When you say "our" milk you mean the stuff 'the company' provides? I know we don't get it for cereal eaters. We don't buy our milk from Waitrose either. I brought this in.
Her: Well we only provide milk for people to put in tea and coffee NOT for them to put it on their breakfast. And we've been running short of milk this week.
Me: Yeah I know, so-and-so told me we'd run out so I brought some more in with me this morning (Thinks; that I paid for myself) It's my lunch actually. I don't take milk in tea or coffee so maybe I'm owed some. (Smiles) I don't drink the company tea or coffee either. I bring in my own stuff. (Picks up sugar bowl)
Her: That's our sugar! You should bring your own sugar in.
Me: (contemplating that I am this person's boss' boss' boss) If the sugar belongs to anyone... (laughing, sprinkling a teaspoon of sugar)
Her: That's not right.
Me: Come see me in 10 minutes when I've eaten my shredded wheat and we will have a chat about it...

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Ha ha..you may more than two shredded wheat to deal with her

 

[Crackle]

Greg's office is crammed with people he's invited in. I'm surprised he can find his desk.

 

[Night Train]

An office kitchen... (the company provides free tea coffee and milk to put in them)
Her: I hope that's not our milk.
Me: Sorry?
....

The number of times I had to explain why didn't contribute to 'the pot' for tea, coffee, mik and sugar when I take in my own tea bags and don't use the milk sugar or coffee.