Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

I dropped the wife at her school (profoundly special needs) this evening so she could drop off some stuff. She ushered me past the respite section where some kids stay overnight, we could see them (the kids plus some of their staff)through the windows. On the way back a couple minutes later, the wife signed 'byeee' with a big smile across her face. The woman smiled back and signed something...
'Whaaaa '..the wife uttered....
'She just told me to fcuk off'

Earlier i was telling my son about a burger bar i used to occasionally use..
I asked....
'Can i have a Hawaian burger please...but no pineapple thanks'
The guy looked at me...
'You want a cheeseburger then ?'
''If thats all you got...'

 

[Octet]

Me to my mum;

"I'm thinking I might start ballet"
"Pardon?"
"I'm... th.. thinking I might start ballet"
"Why?"
"To help my posture, and because it will give me an opportunity to meet new people"
"But you will be the only boy there, maybe something like body balance would be better?"
"Hmmm"
"Boys do do it, but it will be mainly girls, well if that's what you want to do then that's fine by me"

 

[i hate hills]

Not just from today but pretty much every day for the past fortnight " SO ARE YOU A YES OR A NO ?" aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh! The whole thing is becoming a head burst.

 

[gbb]

I walked into a jewellers with the wife, a young man is stood behind the counter, he looks familiar ?
I ask..
'You dont have a silver Peugeot do you ?'
'No, why do you ask'...he seems to smile a bit...
'You look similar to a guy I rescued from a car last week'
'Yes, that was me, but its a silver Corsa....' he turns to a lady beside him...'this is the gent that got me out of the car ..tell you what, I take that bend so carefully now'
I related the story to the girl behind the counter...
'Just goes to show how quick things change, 5 seconds and hes upside down in a deep ditch...god knows, he'd have been in desperate trouble if that had been full of water'
Truth Is, i couldnt have got him out were that the case...i think he would have been lucky to get out alive

I didnt even get a discount ...only joking of course.

 

[Andy_R]

In b&q, at the check out

Cashier: "Did you find everything you were looking for today?"
Me (trying to be funny) "Yes thanks. Oh, hang on, I couldn't find the meaning of life"
Cashier"Yes.....we're out of stock at the minute"

 

[Ganymede]

Me: Just been to my singing class
Chum: How are the endorphins?
Me: I got so high I couldn't eat my lunch!
Chum + Me:

 

[gbb]

I have the day off...
I let the wife lie in, all she had to had to do was get up, breakfast, dressed and away to work.
I cleaned up, went and did the weeks shopping, got a good bike ride in and did a salad for tea so the wife had her dinner ready when she got in....just like she does for me so so often.
We have a combative nature with each other, always usually with a dollop of mirth.
She will frequently tell me how easy men have it, women do all blah blah blah.....

So we're eating tea and i say (mockingly)..
'Enjoy your day being a man then ?' (She knew Instantly i was winding her up because i did everything today)
'I dont have time to ride a bike all day when youre at work'...she replied instantly.
'Wha?..when you have a day off I bet the kettles never off, or catch up on the TV '
'Pathetic, do it for one day and you think youre a hero, try it all the rime.'

A moment later...
'Did you polish ?'
'Course I did' (i didnt )
'Didnt do a very good job did you '....'and that salad was horrible'
'It was wasnt It, i thought id try rocket..it wasnt very nice was it' i replied.

Both of us......'Fish and chips, like normal, next week then'

 

[Lullabelle]

At work we have a problem with mice, pest control people aren't doing a good job, anyhow the production manager bought 6 mouse traps yesterday and set them up last night. I jokingly told him they wouldn't work as mice are far too clever, he thought I was being serious. So today

Me: how many did you catch then?
PM: oh my god you were right, 6 traps had been set , 4 had gone off the other 2 are still set and the bait has gone. I am going to set them again tonight.

They have been raiding cupboards and gorging on chocolate, crisps and powdered soup. My boss asked why the pest control things weren't working to which the quality manager replied: it is because we are feeding them chocolate! they don't want to try anything else.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

At work we have a problem with mice, pest control people aren't doing a good job, anyhow the production manager bought 6 mouse traps yesterday and set them up last night. I jokingly told him they wouldn't work as mice are far too clever, he thought I was being serious. So today

Me: how many did you catch then?
PM: oh my god you were right, 6 traps had been set , 4 had gone off the other 2 are still set and the bait has gone. I am going to set them again tonight.

They have been raiding cupboards and gorging on chocolate, crisps and powdered soup. My boss asked why the pest control things weren't working to which the quality manager replied: it is because we are feeding them chocolate! they don't want to try anything else.

I only bait our traps at home with Cadbury's milk chocolate... sometimes they get a treat and have Cadbury's milk chocolate with fruit & nuts, but not often... the chocolate by itself is usually sufficient!

 

[Lullabelle]

I only bait our traps at home with Cadbury's milk chocolate... sometimes they get a treat and have Cadbury's milk chocolate with fruit & nuts, but not often... the chocolate by itself is usually sufficient!

I did suggest giving them chocolate instead of cheese

 

[Rezillo]

Peanut butter - sticky and difficult to remove without setting the trap off. Works well with the Rentokil Trap-ease humane live traps (checks thread title) - er, someone said to me today, to which I said I agreed.

 

[gbb]

Ref the mice traps, we brought white plastic ones that were pre baited..they worked very well. Sorry, cannot remember the name of them.

 

[Andy_R]

I did suggest giving them chocolate instead of cheese

..and mice don't actually like cheese......

 

[Lullabelle]

..and mice don't actually like cheese......

I know my pet rats prefered chocolate

 

[ColinJ]

'Didnt do a very good job did you '....'and that salad was horrible'
'It was wasnt It, i thought id try rocket..it wasnt very nice was it' i replied.

Rocket is wonderful stuff!