Give me some dialogue from your day

[BigonaBianchi]

Yesterday I was at the airshow here. Standing across the river from the WW2 airfield was a group of humanoids parked in thier fold up chairs eating endless amounts of junk, watching three american mustangs bomb the hell out of a british airfield. Then out of the coulds came two German messerschmidt ME109's and saw them off.

"Thank God for the Luftwaffe!" I jokingly remarked

The fat lady attempted to stand but her chair refused to leave her derrierre.....so she sat back down again and remarked under her breath:

"some people need to learn some respect"

 

[Ganymede]

Sky: *rains a bit*
Me to sky: You're not meant to be raining!
Sky: *rains a bit more*
Innocent bystanding bloke:
Me to bloke (with exaggerated mock outrage): This wasn't forecast!!!!
Bloke:

 

[Crackle]

Sky: *rains a bit*
Me to sky: You're not meant to be raining!
Sky: *rains a bit more*
Innocent bystanding bloke:
Me to bloke (with exaggerated mock outrage): This wasn't forecast!!!!
Bloke:

Is this in your play. It sounds like it could be?

 

[Ganymede]

Is this in your play. It sounds like it could be?

Well my character and I could both be described as "a bit of a nutter" but - and this is important - in slightly different ways....

 

[John the Monkey]

A trying start to the ride home, as Crewe's drivers, incapable of seeing beyond the end of their bonnets completely blocked the first two toucan crossings I came to.

So I was not in the best of moods when one of those halfwits who sees the Inbetweeners as some sort of role model, rather than the monetised recalling of moments of desperate teenage inadequacy, shouted;

"Riding self-gratification artist" (which is not even that good - the better class of oaf goes with "Bike self-gratification artist") from the motionless traffic queueing across the yellow box junction.

This has happened so many times now, that I have a selection of replies.

Today, I went with "Well done, that's good that. You should write a telly show."

I can also recommend "Write that yourself, did you mate?", "Remember the end of that episode, do you?" or "F*ck right off", as the mood takes you.

 

[Crackle]

Scene set: Son2 going out on his bike and me with dog. I leave first, so I tell him to lock the back door, go out the front and back around the back for his bike.

on dog walk..
Phone: text 'Dad I locked the back then went out the front but I locked the front door so I can't get in or get my bike'
Me: Phone, ring, ring,
Him: "Hello"
Me: "Genius"

 

[ufkacbln]

Going downhill on the trike, and something caught in my back wheel, all I knew was that it was having a braking effect, so pulled to the side to find about three feet of fishing line caught on the rear axle.

As I am checking it out, bus pulls up opposite and berates me that I should "get off the road to sort that out, or I will block the traffic"

Ironically, I was not causing any problems, but the bus driver was now holding up half a dozen vehicles to tell me I could possibly block the road.

Congratulations to First Bus for that piece of brilliant logic!

 

[John the Monkey]

Ironically, I was not causing any problems, but the bus driver was now holding up half a dozen vehicles to tell me I could possibly block the road.

Congratulations to First Bus for that piece of brilliant logic!

God love drivers, eh? I like the ones who stop/slow to tell you how much you're delaying them (usually from getting to a red light, we are heading for Manchester, after all).

 

[surfdude]

on a ride today meet some bikers at a cafe .
one of them says . "i think anyone who rides a bike without an engine is a twat ".
i answered . " if i was as fat as you mate i would want an engine on any bike i rode "
his mates thought it very funny and he looked a right twat

 

[Octet]

Me to myself,

"Okay Octet, you've got two boxes of eggs in your rucksack... don't stack it."

# Ten Minutes Later #

"S**t, probably took that bump a bit fast"

# At Home #

"Well Octet.... that is why you don't go fast with a box of eggs", I think to myself as I inspect two cracked shells.

 

[Octet]

Omelette for tea - so there is an upside...

Very true, I myself was thinking something more along the lines of pancakes with lemon and sugar.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Evening ride along the river Clyde with the girls, discussing cycle wear.
Me: I don't really like padded, it's like having central heating down below.
@DonnaHegarty: Oh, I swear by padded, that and lushes of chamois cream to cool you down, why do you think them mamils stand up the saddle from time to time, did you think it was some form of stretching? It's to allow the cool air to flow down below.
Me: Really??? Can I quote you on CC?
DH: Aye!

 

[Lullabelle]

My sister hasn't spoken to me for a couple of years, I had to be civil today for the sake of my dad, wasn't easy but as an adult I tried to behave in the correct manner.

 

[stephec]

Evening ride along the river Clyde with the girls, discussing cycle wear.
Me: I don't really like padded, it's like having central heating down below.
@DonnaHegarty: Oh, I swear by padded, that and lushes of chamois cream to cool you down, Why do you think them mamils stand up the saddle from time to time, did you think it was some form of stretching? It's to allow the cool air to flow down below.
Me: Really??? Can I quote you on CC?
DH: Aye!

It's not for that reason, it's to increase blood flow so that when you take your shorts off the wife doesn't snigger.

 

[ColinJ]

An SMS 'dialogue' from last Wednesday:

bromptonfb: Fancy a brew? I'll be in Hebden 11:30ish.

ColinJ: Would do, but am 6 miles into an 87 mile circuit of the Isle of Mull!

bromptonfb: Haha!