Give me some dialogue from your day

[Donger]

(Mrs Donger, from the kitchen) "Oh, sh1t!"........"Oh, my God!"

(Me, from the living room) "What's up?"

(Mrs Donger, again) "Nothing!"

I went to investigate.............

Earlier in the day, while I was out on the bike, Mrs Donger had tidied up the kitchen, and decided to wash a cycle water bottle of mine that I had left apparently "cluttering up" the worktop. She decided to stick it in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know if any of you have ever placed a plastic water bottle in a dishwasher, but I can now report that this is what happens when you do .......


Very clean (if suspiciously smaller) bottle on left. (Thanks, dear). Dirty, (yet significantly larger) one on right.

(Mrs Donger) "I can do science, me". (From Brainiac, if you couldn't remember where you had heard that line before).

 

[Drago]

I'll have the King Size carvery please.

 

[stephec]

Odd. I always put them in the dishwasher and that never happens.

Same here, SIS and CNP branded bottles are washed all the time in the dishwasher.

 

[Drago]

No problems here either.

 

[gbb]

'..YEAAHHH, look at that '

I'm driving down the A1 between Newark and Grantham, headed north above the A1 is XH558, that glorious Vulcan at about 500ft or so, looming towards us, smokey trail following it.
A glorious sight to see it approaching right above us. I wound down the window pronto, just to catch the noise from the engines.

I'm 56....I act like a 13 year old every time I see these monsters

 

[surfdude]

been on holiday for 10 ten days .leaving 3 teenage boys at home.

me/ ok i thought you guys where going to keep the house clean .
gits/ we have its spotless .
me/ well looks like we have a different idea of what's clean then don't we .
gits/ we even cleaned the sick up after the party .
me/ what f**ing sick and what f**ing party . i told you no parties .
gits/ we thought you where joking when you said we couldn't have a party .

it got very messy after the above so can not reproduce the rest of the conversation

 

[Ganymede]

been on holiday for 10 ten days .leaving 3 teenage boys at home.

me/ ok i thought you guys where going to keep the house clean .
gits/ we have its spotless .
me/ well looks like we have a different idea of what's clean then don't we .
gits/ we even cleaned the sick up after the party .
me/ what f**ing sick and what f**ing party . i told you no parties .
gits/ we thought you where joking when you said we couldn't have a party .

it got very messy after the above so can not reproduce the rest of the conversation

What gits. I imagine you got quite majestic.

 

[John the Monkey]

Waiting for some folk I know who are doing the Manchester 100 today to appear, I'm clapping & encouraging the passing riders while I wait.

An old chap appears on a roadster riding in the opposite direction.
"You can clap me, you know, I need it more than them."
So I applaud as he passes, shouting,
"GO ON MATE, GET YOUR SHOPPING!"

He raises his arms aloft in the world's lowest speed victory celebration, and disappears around the corner.

 

[Ganymede]

Waiting for some folk I know who are doing the Manchester 100 today to appear, I'm clapping & encouraging the passing riders while I wait.

An old chap appears on a roadster riding in the opposite direction.
"You can clap me, you know, I need it more than them."
So I applaud as he passes, shouting,
"GO ON MATE, GET YOUR SHOPPING!"

He raises his arms aloft in the world's lowest speed victory celebration, and disappears around the corner.

 

[gbb]

'Enjoy your ride ?' asked the wife
'Magic'

Just an hour, first time on the bike for 7 weeks , probably averaged 13 mph
They told me the meds I was going on for 6 months would possibly make me feel pretty sh1tty. Less than 2 months to go then we'll see if I do start to pick up

 

[GrasB]

literalism
ˈlɪt(ə)r(ə)lɪz(ə)m/
noun
noun: literalism
the interpretation of words in their literal sense.
"biblical literalism"
literal representation in literature or art.
Translate literalism to
Use over time for: literalism

pfft you can't even do it properly

 

[Retribution03]

Answers phone ...Them "1 plts from x cold store for y customer ok....me"no"
Them "why not" me "because you have no manners I'm not here to be at your beck and call so when speaking to me if you don't use simple please and thank yous I will not collect and deliver your product"He soon found his manners.now don't think I was being a dick but the guy is an arrogant ignorant git.im always polite on the phone or in person as I like to treat others as I like to be treat.

 

[Biscuit]

Work buddy: WTF happened to your hair?
Me: I shaved my head.
Work Buddy: I can see that - what went wrong?
Me: Nothing, I meant to shave my head.
Work Buddy: I thought the meds were helping?
Me: You're really too kind.

 

[John the Monkey]

Work buddy: WTF happened to your hair?
Me: I shaved my head.
Work Buddy: I can see that - what went wrong?
Me: Nothing, I meant to shave my head.
Work Buddy: I thought the meds were helping?
Me: You're really too kind.

I always get "Is that a haircut, or a punishment?"

 

[Dave 123]

Tim walks in wearing hi viz waterproofs...

Me- "it's the jolly green giant!"
Tim- "what did you think of Jack and the beanstalk"
Me- "what?"
Tim-"you said green...."
Me- "WHAT?"
Tim- "It was a good nursery rhyme"
Me-" Erm... never given it a thought"

Tim- "Me neither, see you in the morning"