Give me some dialogue from your day

[Rezillo]

Dialog from many years ago, when we lived at another town. A transport company had two local offices, with different exchange numbers. If callers used the exchange number of one office with the number of the other, they got our number and rang us.

Typically these calls went something like:

"I need to speak to XYZ from Accounts urgently".

"This is a private house, there is no XYZ here."

"Eh? I need to speak to XYZ"

"(sigh) Does XYZ work at F***witsTransport?"

"Yes"

"You've rung the wrong number - you've got the exchange number wrong; you've dialled F***wits Transport's Stowmarket number but used a Felixstowe exchange code. You need to redial 123456 but with the Stowmarket code of 01449"

Longish pause. I repeat the mantra. Another pause.

"Look, don't f*** around with me, put me through to XYZ"

"I've told you, you've dialled the wrong number. Goodbye."

A few seconds later, ring ring: "Hello, I need to speak to XYZ urgently".

"Look, I was polite the first time you made this mistake. Now you can just p*** off".

 

[Lullabelle]

I sometimes get calls from elderly people who call because their carer hasn't turned up and they haven't had anything to eat or been washed and dressed. They can be a bit confused so I have to speak clearly and slowly when I inform them they have the wrong number. TBH it upsets me to think that someone is so vulnerable and have to rely on someone else for their basic needs, I just hope they are going to be ok

 

[Profpointy]

It can be very confusing for both parties if the conversation makes some, but not entire sense, likewise the answer. i dialed a chap in work whose name is one letter different from the chap I meant to dial. i know both of them, and they me. and as the question was technical it made some sort of sense to the wrong chap - but the answer and follow up questions were getting increasingly surreal before the penny dropped

 

[ColinJ]

Me (astride bike) to stallholder at market: "Are the Coffee & Walnut cake and Ginger cake both £1 a piece?"

Stallholder: "Yes."

Me: "Oh, good, then I will take one of each, please."

Stallholder: "Fuel for your bike ride?"

Me: "No, refuelling after a week of bike rides!"

 

[Spinney]

That reminds me of an encounter some years ago.
Kayaking on Windermere, me and Mr Spinney beach ourselves for lunch next to a family in a RIB with an outboard.

Little girl: Oh, those boats don't have an engine.
Me: Yes, they do.
Father of little girl: Runs on wine and chocolate?
Me: ... yes, and cake!

 

[jhawk]

Dad: "So, I was talking to your grandfather the other day..."

Me: "And?"

Dad: "I told him, "You broke up the internets!"

Granddad: "Really?"

 

[Maverick Goose]

''That woman on the big table has the most annoying laugh ever''
''Are those the ones who all look like extras from Made In Chelsea?''
''Yes they are''
''There's a guy who's a dead ringer for James or Proudlock or whatever''

 

[Speicher]

A N Other: I could not understand what Mr X was saying on the phone because I had just opened a tin of mackerel.

Me:

 

[Saluki]

Guitar Teacher: I really like Bryan Adams' Summer of 69
Me: Hmmm
GT: How old would he have been in 1969 do you think?
Me: 9
GT: Oh. So its kind of a wannabe retro type song then
Me: err, no.
GT: I don't understand
Me: It's not about the year of 1969
GT: No? Why not
Me: Um, its about a good summer and falling in love for the first time sort of thing
GT: In 1969
Me. No! Do I really have to explain this to you?
GT: Yes
Me: Oh God!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Guitar Teacher: I really like Bryan Adams' Summer of 69
Me: Hmmm
GT: How old would he have been in 1969 do you think?
Me: 9
GT: Oh. So its kind of a wannabe retro type song then
Me: err, no.
GT: I don't understand
Me: It's not about the year of 1969
GT: No? Why not
Me: Um, its about a good summer and falling in love for the first time sort of thing
GT: In 1969
Me. No! Do I really have to explain this to you?
GT: Yes
Me: Oh God!

...... Yes..... And??....... Please do spit it out!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Our phone number used to be very similar to our local Golf Club, so we have had many of the wrong number stories ups thread too.

That is all.

 

[Saluki]

...... Yes..... And??....... Please do spit it out!

Don't you start!
That poor boy blushed like fury once he'd twigged. I could feel the heat from his face 6' away

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Don't you start!
That poor boy blushed like fury once he'd twigged. I could feel the heat from his face 6' away

Really?? Blushing about the weather being 69 degrees?? REALLY??

 

[Saluki]

Really?? Blushing about the weather being 69 degrees?? REALLY??

You are a bad man MDB, a bad man.

 

[Maverick Goose]

Our phone number used to be very similar to our local Golf Club, so we have had many of the wrong number stories ups thread too.

That is all.

Wrong hole huh MDB?