Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

19 year old colleague...'yeah, I was telling my mate about working with you, despite the age difference, we have a laugh, we get on really well.'
55 year old me... 'Fark off...you speak for yourself'......

19 year old colleague .....'Yep, walked straight into that one '

55 year old me... 'No...i'm serious you might be having a good time... ......

19 year old colleague...

 

[Lullabelle]

Person on other end of phone: On Saturday a pipe burst and flooded the entire floor and the 2 floors below, we have had to work from home the past few days, it was pretty bad

Me: yeah I guess working from home must be pretty awful,

Person on phone: actually I meant the flood

Me: don't think he realised what I meant, bless him

 

[Matthew_T]

On my break at work sat in the cabin speaking with a few other colleagues.

Me: I have a tendency to work quite fast. Faster than pretty much everyone else here. I think its because I am much younger than most people here.
Colleague on my floor (who is about 3 years older than me): Excuse me?
Me: What I meant is that I tend to rush things. I didnt mean it like that.
C: So you mean that we are slow?
M: No, just that I work quicker than everyone. Doesnt mean that you are slow, just slower than me.
C:
M: I will stop talking now.

I love digging holes....

 

[Risex4]

Is this the job you were on here asking for advice on how to get only about a month ago?

 

[Matthew_T]

Is this the job you were on here asking for advice on how to get only about a month ago?

Yep. For people who missed the follow up: I got the job.

 

[Risex4]

Yep. For people who missed the follow up: I got the job.

And now you're in there telling people you can do the job better and faster, with some casual ageism thrown in to boot?

Legend!

 

[laurence]

man in reptile shop - are you looking for anything particular?
me - no, just having a look
....
me - wow, what are these?
him - Viper Geckos
me - how big do they get?
him - that's it really
me - oh.
him - would you like to hold one?

..... a short time later

me - and i'll take a box of crickets for their food and a little hide for them too.

i now have two Viper geckos. they are small, not even the length of a finger!

i also have pet crickets as some got out before i managed to feed the geckos.

 

[ThinAir]

My colleague to me today...

" I think you are having a bad day. You've told me a few stories twice today, and up until now, I've let it slide, but it starting to get on my nerves now...." It happened about 7 more time after that. Wine was certainly required tonight....

 

[gbb]

A text conversation which started with me asking how the wife's day was going (she works witH handicapped kids)
The reply was...
'Not bad, just been back to the allotment with the kids, now going to church....to pray for the b&#***** that stole the tomato plants we planted last week'

 

[fimm]

There was some sort of problem at work (I didn't quite work out exactly what it was, not that serious) and there was a fair amount of banter going on as a result:
A: "It is B's fault, he ran the script.... (with the mistake I made in it)...."
B, to A: "With an attitude like that, you've got management potential...."

 

[MossCommuter]

Woman: Oh, what does that say on your jumper; "british-lions-tour-twenty-thirteen"
Man: Yeah, well, I suppose it's British and Irish Lions actually, but yeah
Woman: Oh, was that this year?

 

[Moon bunny]

Last night a friend of Hover Fly came up to him and said, "You seem to have no trouble getting girlfriends, can you give me any tips on picking up girls?"
"Keep your back straight and bend your knees."

 

[classic33]

.That's how classic33 met his demise in my dream last night

 

[ThinAir]

"I went in the bathroom n found the toilet roll covered in Sh1tty fingerprints. I picked it up by putting two fingers inside the tube and deftly moving it to one side, only to find the middle also full of sh1t".

That was a high point.
Over dinner.
Awesome.

 

[gbb]

A series of text messages...
(My daughter in law is very soon due to give birth. Not imminent, but she has just come out of hospital with other complications)
Wifes text to me..
'Carley (DIL) has texted, baby weighs 5.5 lb and all is ok'

Me...

Tried ringing wife to get details but shes at work, so texted our son...
'Congrats Kev, a dad again eh, well done and will see you all soon'

Text from Kev to me...
'Lol, whatcha on about ?'

Me...

Me to colleague...
'Bloody hell....i'll bet she's had her unannounced, texted everyone and Kev doesnt even know yet ' (at this stage, i'm assuming Kev is at work)
Colleague to me...
'What you going to do ?'
Me...
'Say nothing till ive got the low down from the wife'

Text from wife to me...
'What on earth are you on about ? Carleys had scan and the baby weighs 5.5lb'

Me...
'Doh....