Give me some dialogue from your day

[Matthew_T]

He's only just worked out how to get himself to work near-enough-on-time-not-to-get-a-rollicking.

Sounds like you are talking about me now. I had to read back a few posts as I thought "How does he know that?". Actually, I arrive at work about 15 mins before I start so that I can get changed and ready. It does help as I can often sit in the cabin for a little bit or fiddle with my bike.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

Me: (Dials sister's number, she picks up.) "I appear to have locked myself in the porch. Could you come and let me out please? "

Her:

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Me: (Dials sister's number, she picks up.) "I appear to have locked myself in the porch. Could you come and let me out please? "

Her:

We did that to our cleaner* once, we borrowed her key back for some reason, Mrs 3BM locked the porch door on her way out and Mrs Mop locked herself in the porch when she pulled the front door closed behind her. Sorry. It was funny though.

*yeah I know...

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Met a girl in Lidl just now looking at the wet suits and dive masks and flippers etc...we got chatting and she asked if I was buying the wet suit boots to wear on the bike...
we got to talking about cycling etc...and scuba...and had a good laugh. She was buying a wet suit, and boots and dive mask etc so she could go swimming off the beach here at the weekend..braver than me ..it's bloody freezing...apparently she really likes swimming, and used to ride a dawes galaxy, like I had chained up outside...she was a really happy girl, and I have so much admiration for her spirit...


...she was in an invalid buggy and had lost the use of both legs.

 

[Crackle]

*yeah I know...

No one said anything, in fact, I didn't even snigger.

 

[Lucheni]

Elderly Friend - Would anyone like a mint?
Young Friend - No, thanks. Sucking makes me lightheaded.
My Mum & Myself - *snigger / snort / glance at each other / snigger even more loudly*

 

[gavgav]

Me: (Dials sister's number, she picks up.) "I appear to have locked myself in the porch. Could you come and let me out please? "

Her:

Classic!!

 

[gavgav]

Lady I work with, who rents rooms to female foreign students whilst they are over here, takes call from her agency today about the student she has coming to stay tomorrow..........turns out "Janice" that she thought was coming is actually "Yanis" a Russian bloke

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Me: "I used to be responsible for overseeing contracts worth about £20 billion. This contract [worth c. £120 million] is chickenfeed..."

If it was NHS PFI it would have been costed at £20 billion but probably only worth £10 billion.

 

[gbb]

A happier side to yesterdays conversation with my colleague, the 'chat' otherwise known as a 'bollicking' has had its effect.
We've had a busy day, got lots done and ive had the opportunity to show him in detail some equipment he will need knowledge of in the future. Its been a good day.
My colleague said...as we were wrapping up a very rewarding and useful couple of hours on a machine...
'Thats been a good day, i've enjoyed it '
I replied...
'It's funny, i was thinking, literally seconds before you said that, and i was literally JUST going to say...That's been a good day, you've done well, really. I don't like getting on at you, but it just goes to show what you can do'
'I know, ,its ok, i'd sooner you let me know, rather than just assume everythings ok and not realise i'm making a hash of it' (or words to that effect).

Then, at 4.45, 15 minutes before the end of a busy day....one of the ops comes in to the workshop...'Sorry, B machine isn't sealing again '

...we got out of there 45 minutes late

 

[gbb]

It's funny isn't it. Yesterday I drove our electric truck back up to the centre to recharge her over lunchtime. One of the volunteers, a long term guy, been with us for years, watched me drive it in, watched me park it in front of the lock up, watched me get out, watched me unlock the lock up and get the ramp out, and THEN he wandered over and said "Can I get the lawnmower out before you put that away?" (once she's in there, the mower isn't accessible.)

Now, he knew he needed the mower, and he knew he needed to get it out before I put the truck away, so why didn't he come over, open the lock up, and get the mower out when he saw me driving in through the gate?

Or even as you were in the process of parking up etc, just say 'ooh, hang on a mo, give us a sec to get the mower out'
Some people never cease to amaze me .

 

[Spinney]

[Baby Blackbird] Bang!

[Me] WTF

looks out of window

BB on path outside - on its back, vague twitching of legs

[Me] Coat on, stand guard in case cat comes around.

[BB] Twitch, twitch

[BB] Flutter, flutter

[BB] Hop, hop (into bush, looks like it might have hurt a wing)

[Me] retreats indoors (warm for May, innit?)

5 minutes pass....

[BB] Hop, hop onto flower pot
Hop, hop, into much bigger bush across the lawn - probably with stonking headache!

[Me] good, now I can go and get a drink!

 

[Arch]

We were lying on the grass in the Museum Gardens in the sun. I was watching a boy drag a couple of large logs out of the undergrowth to where his family group where sitting. He tried to stand a shorter one up on end, and balance the longer one on it at one end, like a hypotenuse.

Me: If he drops that one, it's going to hit his sister on the head.
<pause>
NT: like that.
Me: Yeah.

The Dad did check the girl wasn't bleeding, but didn't seem to chastise the boy at all. He was too busy drinking his sparkling rose from a flute glass. The Dad, not the boy.

 

[perplexed]

We were lying on the grass in the Museum Gardens in the sun. I was watching a boy drag a couple of large logs out of the undergrowth to where his family group where sitting. He tried to stand a shorter one up on end, and balance the longer one on it at one end, like a hypotenuse.

Me: If he drops that one, it's going to hit his sister on the head.
<pause>
NT: like that.
Me: Yeah.

The Dad did check the girl wasn't bleeding, but didn't seem to chastise the boy at all. He was too busy drinking his sparkling rose from a flute glass. The Dad, not the boy.

How on Earth did he manage to father a child????

 

[simon the viking]

How on Earth did he manage to father a child????

Fathering a child is easy (watch Jeremy Kyle) being a father to a child is far more difficult