Give me some dialogue from your day

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I had an old chap look at my hub gear outside a shop and tell me that he'd once worked out a way to get as many as 5 gears into one. Yes, I said, mine has 8...

I didn't mention the potential of a Rohloff....

had great fun with our Rohloff's when people asked how many gears. they could not grasp the concept of 14 in an internal hub and I understand there are now even more available...

 

[GrasB]

I had an old chap look at my hub gear outside a shop and tell me that he'd once worked out a way to get as many as 5 gears into one. Yes, I said, mine has 8...

I didn't mention the potential of a Rohloff....

GEARS? Who does gears these days?

 

[Arch]

had great fun with our Rohloff's when people asked how many gears. they could not grasp the concept of 14 in an internal hub and I understand there are now even more available...

I can never rememer the number offhand, but I know friends of mine have discussed matching (on a recumbent trike) a Rohloff, a triple chainset, and a Schlumpf drive. 14x3x2....

84. I'm sure there was a way to get more.

Oh yes - a Sram 8x3, with a triple and Schlumpf - 144.

If you could put a x3 on a Rohloff - 252! But a fair bit of overlap, I suspect....

 

[Night Train]

GEARS? Who does gears these days?

Balls!

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Ouch

more of a monologue but I plead a headache.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Me - "I might see if there's anything I can do to help the engineers today."

Wife (turning to my daughter), "Daddy is going to break machines today."

 

[perplexed]

Wife: Will it snow tomorrow?
Me: I don't know, let's watch the local weather.

We watch Look North's rather lovely weather lass... The forcast is unsettled and inconclusive.

Wife: So will it snow?
Me: Keeley's got no idea, so I don't know either...
Wife: Keeley doesn't know? I bet Paul (Hudson) would've known...

 

[gbb]

Sat at the dinner table, just had fish( findus, breaded, out of the freezer) and freshly made chips. Thoroughly enjoyed it, simple, basic, just nice. She's good, always tries to have a meal on the table when, or soon after i come in from work.
The wife said...
'That was a struggle this morning, just didn't have enough time to prepare a proper dinner'
'No problem, i enjoyed that, it was nice '
'Perhaps i'm going to have to start preparing dinner when i get in, its too much rush, it'll mean we get dinner later mind'

Me, in wind up mode ...
...No chance, if you got up when i shouted you the first time in the morning, not the fifth time half an hour later...you'd have plenty of time to get things sorted' (sniggering beneath my breath)

Wife...
'You can get stuffed'

 

[Night Train]

Checkout chap at Toolstation earlier today.

Him: That will be £52.80.
Me: [Puts £55 on the counter]
Him: Err, no, that's £52.80.
Me: [I count the notes] Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, and five.
Him: Oh, Sorry, I have toothache. My brains are shot.
Me:

 

[Arch]

Chap comes out of a house on our recycling round

Chap: Excuse me, can you tell me what you don't take?
Me: Er, it'd be quicker to tell you what we do take.
Chap: No, tell me what you don't take..
Me: Er..
Chap: Like, the tops on milk bottles do you take those?
Me: Oh! Yes, that's fine.
Chap: and foil?
Me: yes....
Chap: Oh! and what about aerosols?
Me: Yes.

But for the rest of the afternoon, my workmate and I were telling each other 'things we don't take'. Like Kelp, Palomino Horses, The Elgin Marbles, Noble Gases....

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Me to customer on phone - "I really need to see some photos of your naked shaft."
Customer - "I think the diameter is 60mm"
Me - "Great!"

 

[Herr-B]

Me, in wind up mode ...
...No chance, if you got up when i shouted you the first time in the morning, not the fifth time half an hour later...you'd have plenty of time to get things sorted' (sniggering beneath my breath)

Wife...
'You can get stuffed'

To which, in hindsight, you could've said something along the lines of - Not on this crap you give me.

 

[gbb]

To which, in hindsight, you could've said something along the lines of - Not on this crap you give me.

That'd be tombstone juggling

Todays...
Standing by a machine, someone's lowered the table at the output end. Dawn's asking me to rectify it, her mum's (they work together) stood next to us. She asked..
'Can you lower the machine for me ?'

Me...( She's got it wrong, she needs me to raise the table )

'I can, but you'll be bent double filling it (while i mockingly bend over to over-emphasise the point)'

She realises her mistake, sends me a feisty look , her mum's cackling with laughter , so am i now

'You'll get it back ' she said, i'll get you, i'll think of something just when you expect it least'

'Gonna take you a while then eh '

Mums still cacking in the background
Dawn walks off, looking back at me

 

[Herr-B]

My little girl was watching the Cbeebies bedtime hour last night and said something about the people on it actually being somewhere else. So I offered to put her on the telly, video her on my phone and then stream it to the telly.

She started welling up and said, 'But if I'm on the telly I won't be able to watch it'!

 

[GrasB]

At lunch -

person a: Say another word & I WILL hit you
person b: But
person a: *thump*
person b: OUCH! What was that for?
person a: You can have the ouch *thump* *thump* but *thump* *thump* SHUTUP!
person b: *silence*