Favourite Insults

[Ming the Merciless]

Steven Hawking‘s was pretty good at it

 

[burntoutbanger]

When someone tells you their age

“The years have not been kind”.

When someone tells you their age

"Tough paper-round?"

 

[swee'pea99]

Not 'an insult' as such, but my sister said the guy looked pretty pissed off, when her friend unwrapped his fish & chips to do the S&V, and said "Oy mate, you sure this fish was dead when you put it in here?" "'course it was dead - what you on about?" "Looks like it's eaten all the chips." Looks could kill, but he got another grudging half-scoop.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

When someone tells you their age

"Tough paper-round?"

Or, "Aye, plus VAT."

 

[jongooligan]

On a theme....

Face like a fox licking 5h1t off a wire brush.

 

[Old jon]

Tha's worth less than the stink of yer own sh!te.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

You’re as thick as shít in the neck of a bottle.

(Not you, Old jon)

 

[VelvetUnderpants]

You have a face only a mother can love.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I’m not saying he’s ugly but his mother used to feed him with a catapult.

 

[Peugeotrider]

Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

 

[Deleted User]

Brexit voter !

Thought it said insult not compliment?

 

[raleighnut]

Thought it said insult not compliment?

You wish

 

[Deleted User]

We used to work with a bloke who looked like Plug from the Beano, big goofy teeth, and one lad come out with a cracker.
" He's the only bloke I know can eat corn on the cob through a venetian blind ".

 

[Deleted User]

You wish

Must just be me then?

 

[raleighnut]

Must just be me then?

No sadly not but you just carry on regardless