Any good jokes ... ?

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Alex321

Guru
Location
South Wales
No distinction between the singular and plural. Ver annoying. There's no thread for the trivially annoying things on CC.

Yes there is
https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/trivial-things-that-make-you-annoyed-beyond-expectations.123600/

there is also one for trivial questions
https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/q...gardless-of-how-trivial-they-may-seem.274840/
 

craigwend

Grimpeur des terrains plats
IMG_4724.jpeg
 

PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
This has been voted the Best Joke in Ireland.

John raises a glass and says "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of my wife!" A cheer goes up and he wins the accolade of delivering the best toast of the night.

He goes home and proudly tells his wife he won the award for his toast the night before. "Oh aye, and what would that be then?" " Well my love, my toast was 'May I spend the rest of me life sat in church next to me wife'". "Ah, that's lovely, that John. I'm proud of ye."

Then she goes out to the shops where she bumps into one of her husband's drinking buddies. He spots the opportunity and goes over to her asking if she heard of her husband's toast the night before. She says, "Yes, but I was very surprised. He's only been there twice in the last four years and the last time I had to drag him by the ears to make him come.".
 
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raleighnut

Legendary Member
This has been voted the Best Joke in Ireland.

John raises a glass and says "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of my wife!" A cheer goes up and he wins the accolade of delivering the best toast of the night.

He goes home and proudly tells his wife he won the award for his toast the night before. "Oh aye, and what would that be then?" " Well my love, my toast was 'May I spend the rest of me life sat in church next to me wife'". "Ah, that's lovely, that John. I'm proud of ye."

Then she goes out to the shops where she bumps into one of her husband's drinking buddies. He spots the opportunity and goes over to her asking if she heard of her husband's toast the night before. She says, "Yes, but I was very surprised. He's only been there twice in the last four years and the last time I had to drag him by the ears to make him come.".

Nah I know a better one from years back.

2 Priests 1 from Spain and the other from Ireland are waiting for an audience with the Pope and fall into conversation,
"In my country" says the Spanish Priest " we have this saying manana, manana meaning tomorrow, tomorrow do you have a similar saying in your country"
The Irish Priest thinks for a bit then replies "No I don't think we have anything with that sense of urgency behind it"
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
Nah I know a better one from years back.

2 Priests 1 from Spain and the other from Ireland are waiting for an audience with the Pope and fall into conversation,
"In my country" says the Spanish Priest " we have this saying manana, manana meaning tomorrow, tomorrow do you have a similar saying in your country"
The Irish Priest thinks for a bit then replies "No I don't think we have anything with that sense of urgency behind it"

I think my favourite Irish joke concerns the foreman recruiting at his building site. Keen to check that the guy knows his trade he asks a few questions "Tell me Seamus, what's the difference between a joist and a girder". "To be sure I know that; it was Goethe that wrote Faust and Joyce that wrote Ulysees"

(A cod Irish accent helps)
 

Chris S

Legendary Member
Location
Birmingham
Every day Paddy's workmates offer him a choice of a £5 or £20 note. He always takes the £5 much to their amusement. One day his boss asks him why he doesn't take the £20. Paddy replies, "If I take the £20 then they'll stop giving me a fiver every day."
 

PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
I asked my mother which European city does the best deer meat and she said.......


I'll let you fill in this yourselves because I lost the will to live before the lunch line.
 
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