Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Sharky]

I was reading a book about Anti-Gravity last night.
I couldn't put it down.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[raleighnut]

View attachment 556292

Trump does it better,

 

[Chris S]

Trump does it better,

View attachment 556294

Yes.

 

[betty swollocks]

My wife's just asked me to clear the kitchen table.
I had to have a bit of a run up, but I made it!

 

[Dayvo]

 

[morrisman]

 

[Once a Wheeler]

What shape is a Werther's Original?
A caramelogram.

 

[Moon bunny]

I have just got back from the fish counter in Booths, not a scallop, oyster, mussel or cockle to be had. Shellfish panic buyers.

 

[Electric_Andy]

I have just got back from the fish counter in Booths, not a scallop, oyster, mussel or cockle to be had. Shellfish panic buyers.

I did not know Booths existed until i went to the Penrith branch 2 years ago.

 

[screenman]

WARNING ...RANT!
For those of you who are placing Christmas lights / decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my gin out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the spliff under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

 

[numbnuts]

Breaking News

Anti-terrorist officers have defused a bomb hidden amongst tins of alphabet soup in Tesco.
A police spokesman said 'If it had gone off, it could have spelled disaster'

 

[tyred]