Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Bad Machine
In the garage .....
- Location
- East Anglia
As read in The Press and Journal:
... the PM was out jogging during his holiday with Carrie and wee Wilf. He is said to have stopped for a breather on a bridge railing and fell backwards into the river.
Before his bodyguards could get to him, three lads who were fishing nearby ran up and pulled him out. Boris was grateful and offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first lad said he would like to go to Disneyland. Boris said: “No problem. I’ll take you there on my RAF Voyager prime ministerial plane with the red, white and blue tail fin.”
The second lad said he needed a new pair of Nike Air Jordans. The PM said: “No bother, my lad, and I will even sign them.”
The third boy looked glum. He would soon need a wheelchair.
Boris says: “Really? You don’t look injured.”
The lad says: “No, but I will be after my dad finds out I helped pull you out.”
... the PM was out jogging during his holiday with Carrie and wee Wilf. He is said to have stopped for a breather on a bridge railing and fell backwards into the river.
Before his bodyguards could get to him, three lads who were fishing nearby ran up and pulled him out. Boris was grateful and offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first lad said he would like to go to Disneyland. Boris said: “No problem. I’ll take you there on my RAF Voyager prime ministerial plane with the red, white and blue tail fin.”
The second lad said he needed a new pair of Nike Air Jordans. The PM said: “No bother, my lad, and I will even sign them.”
The third boy looked glum. He would soon need a wheelchair.
Boris says: “Really? You don’t look injured.”
The lad says: “No, but I will be after my dad finds out I helped pull you out.”
If the person holding the sign looks a bit too colourful also check out the rainbow flag and the stickers which reference gay rights legislation. This is a satirical sign taken literally then posted as a joke.
Smokin Joe
Squire
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Which is why it's in a jokes thread.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Beebo
Firm and Fruity
- Location
- Hexleybeef
Too right, Every breath you take from one of those illegal cigarettes could kill you.
An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks, still wearing his old flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, Bristol 138s, Aircobras, the Albamarle bomber and the Argosy Transport . I've taught more than 200 people to fly and taken part in Air Shows all over the place, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, my dear, what are you?' She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: ' Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, Bristol 138s, Aircobras, the Albamarle bomber and the Argosy Transport . I've taught more than 200 people to fly and taken part in Air Shows all over the place, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, my dear, what are you?' She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: ' Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
