Any good jokes ... ?

[mistyoptic]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

Mickey Mouse making circles with his arms? Not on my watch!

 

[Cavalol]

The water's so hard where I live, the plumbers have to go round in pairs.

 

[Cavalol]

My neighbours keep banging on our wall whilst I'm trying to listen to my music.
"A little respect please!" They shouted.
I'm not a big Erasure fan, but ok this one's for you...

 

[Dave7]

I went to the pub last night and a really weird thing happened.
A woman had her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a side note I found that I am really poor at darts.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[raleighnut]

View attachment 540484

got a way to go yet, only half dug so plenty of time to escape.

 

[betty swollocks]

Bloke's wife is pregnant and suddenly gets the craving for snails. So she demands,
"Go to the French restaurant and get me a large portion of snails. Don't go to the pub,and come straight back."
So off he goes, but on the way back he passes the pub and thinks 'she will never know if I only have one'.
Four hours later he staggers home, falls over the dustbin and makes a loud racket and the snails are scattered all over the floor.
His wife appears at the door with a rolling pin: "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"Come on lads, not far to go now."

 

[rikki]

 

[Cavalol]

I was buying some hydrochloric acid the other day and asked the bloke how much it was.
“Including the vat?” He said.
“Yes,” I replied. “Otherwise, what would I keep it in?”

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]