Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Joe wanted to buy a Pinarello but really couldn't afford one. Until one day, he comes across a second hand Pinarello for sale on CycleChat
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and when he goes to pick it up he asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple," says the seller, "Whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain I rub Vaseline on the frame. It protects it from the rain", and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, he cycles over on his new, gleaming Pinarello
Sandra meets him at the door and says '' I have to tell you something about my family. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. At all. Not a word.
In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.
"No Problem,'' says Joe and in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the hall, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and makes passionate love to her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mum horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mum. She's got a great body too.
Joe grabs mum, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and has his way right there on the dinner table.
She has a big orgasm & Joe sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling & Mum is beaming from ear to ear. But still... Total Silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts, "Ok, Ok, I'll do the bloody dishes!"
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and when he goes to pick it up he asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple," says the seller, "Whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain I rub Vaseline on the frame. It protects it from the rain", and he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, he cycles over on his new, gleaming Pinarello
Sandra meets him at the door and says '' I have to tell you something about my family. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. At all. Not a word.
In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.
"No Problem,'' says Joe and in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the hall, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
He leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and makes passionate love to her, right there in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mum horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mum. She's got a great body too.
Joe grabs mum, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and has his way right there on the dinner table.
She has a big orgasm & Joe sits down.
His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling & Mum is beaming from ear to ear. But still... Total Silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father shouts, "Ok, Ok, I'll do the bloody dishes!"
Welsh wheels
Lycra king
- Location
- South Wales
I told my wife that she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised at my comment.
betty swollocks
large member
Uri, the son of the local Russian commissar in Urit, a very desolate outpost of the Russian empire, was bored. There was nothing to do so.....he thought he would go for a walk.
He got out of bed, went downstairs, out of the back door, through the garden and over the fence.
He swam across the river and fought his way through the bushes and up the hill into the forest
Suddenly he noticed a bear, but not just any bear... this was the rarest bear in the whole of Russia, the famous Urit bear. They are supposed to have the softest, gentlest fur in the world. The bear was facing away from him, sitting against a tree, chewing bamboo. This was Uri's chance, he will be only boy in his school to have touched this mythical bear, so he snuck up slowly and quietly and stroked its wonderful fur.
Suddenly the bear gets up and roars and chases Uri.
Uri runs out of the forest, down the hill... The bear is close behind, he hurtles through the bushes and swims across the river...
The Urit bear crashes through the bushes and swims ferociously across the river.
Uri goes through the back gate and through the garden in the back door. He stops and locks it before running upstairs into his bedroom and hides under the duvet.
The Urit bear smashes down the back gate, runs through the garden, smashes down the back door.
He runs upstairs, kicks in the bedroom door, pulls back the duvet to see Uri trembling in fear....
The bear raises his paw, touches Uri on the leg and announces........
Urit.
He got out of bed, went downstairs, out of the back door, through the garden and over the fence.
He swam across the river and fought his way through the bushes and up the hill into the forest
Suddenly he noticed a bear, but not just any bear... this was the rarest bear in the whole of Russia, the famous Urit bear. They are supposed to have the softest, gentlest fur in the world. The bear was facing away from him, sitting against a tree, chewing bamboo. This was Uri's chance, he will be only boy in his school to have touched this mythical bear, so he snuck up slowly and quietly and stroked its wonderful fur.
Suddenly the bear gets up and roars and chases Uri.
Uri runs out of the forest, down the hill... The bear is close behind, he hurtles through the bushes and swims across the river...
The Urit bear crashes through the bushes and swims ferociously across the river.
Uri goes through the back gate and through the garden in the back door. He stops and locks it before running upstairs into his bedroom and hides under the duvet.
The Urit bear smashes down the back gate, runs through the garden, smashes down the back door.
He runs upstairs, kicks in the bedroom door, pulls back the duvet to see Uri trembling in fear....
The bear raises his paw, touches Uri on the leg and announces........
Urit.
betty swollocks
large member
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
