Any good jokes ... ?

[cosmicbike]

Q: What's yellow and dangerous?

A: Shark infested custard

 

[threebikesmcginty]

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

A mouse going on holiday.

 

[David Garside]

How do you survive a parachute jump when it fails to open ?....wait until you're down to the last 6 feet off the ground and jump the rest....easy....

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Why is an elephant big, gray and wrinkly?

Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin.

 

[glenn forger]

The oldest man in the world has died.

Why does this keep happening?

 

[TVC]

How do you survive a parachute jump when it fails to open ?....wait until you're down to the last 6 feet off the ground and jump the rest....easy....

How does a blind parachutist know when he is about to land?

The lead goes slack.

 

[TVC]

Why are Elephants wrinkly?

Have you ever tried to iron an Elephant?

 

[jhawk]

I've just invented a new word:

"Plagiarism"

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Q What's small, pink and wrinkled, and hangs out Grandad's pyjamas?
A Grandma

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don't, you get down from a duck.

Me - I'm thick Unless it's a cricket reference

 

[Chromatic]

Me - I'm thick Unless it's a cricket reference

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_feather

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_feather

Oh yeah - I am very thick

Thanks Chomatic

 

[Melonfish]

A midget psychic has killed two people and made his escape,
police say they are looking for a small medium at large.

i saw a famous magician walking down the high street the other day, but i lost him when he turned into a butchers.

i've been weighing up whether to live in Switzerland, i'm not sure i like the mountains, but the flag is a big plus.

how did the hipster burn his tongue? he drank his coffee before it was cool...

what time does sean connery go to wimbledon?
ten-ish

what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

 

[TwickenhamCyclist]

The children had to recite a rhyme at school:
Susan started:
Mary had a little hen
she kept it in a bucket
and every time she let it out
the rooster would chase it

"Susan that doesn't rhyme!!" said the teacher
"It will when the rooster catches it!" Lynda replies.

.........

Mary had a little skirt
with a slit right up the side
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thigh.

Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front,
But she didn't wear that one very often.

.........

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
We don’t know what they did up there,
But now they’ve got a daughter

..........

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to pay
He kissed them too, he was funny that way

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Welcome to 1976.

What's brown and sticky?



A stick

GC